For the longest time guys have been drawn to me, mostly ones older than me (5+ years older). I’m not meaning to make this sound like I’m stuck up or the most wanted girl, because I’m nowhere close to any of those things. But ever since my rape and molestation (starting when I was 3-4)I have noticed this almost target-like thing about me or that other guys see that draw them to me. I’ve had multiple older guys try touching me when I haven’t even led them on, so, is it bad luck? is this in my head? Or is there something that may be drawing them to me maybe some sort of energy that I give off?. I have thought about it constantly for as long ad I can remember. I just want to figure this out and for some reason today has been the day when it’s just stuck in my head and I can’t get the thought out. Is there any victims who feel this way or anyone who can please help me figure this out?
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
15 comments
Well, here’s a video on the subject on creating your own reality and the people who come into your life. It’s called; Abraham Hicks ~ We are always responsible for how we are treated
If you type that into Youtube it might be of help. We all attract similar energies into our lives.
No. Abuse is never the victims fault.
Yeah posting something like that kind of sounds like ‘you were responsible for being raped’. A bad message for sure. Perhaps i took something out of context but this is how it looks
No idea but rape is never your fault
I think the first thing to say is that you are awesome for posing this question and seeking out the answers. It displays a lot of courage as well as an immense sense of self awareness on your part. Being that this is the internet you’re going to get a lot of variety in your answers. Just remember that they are all opinions as not enough research has been done on the subject.
You’re not alone. You probably know this. There are lots of assault survivors who find themselves in the same pattern. In most cases molestation and rape are not a one off event. It’s something that happens over and over again, sometimes for years.
Lots of people will talk about the laws of attraction. the basic gist of that is you attract like minded people. If you think about abuse, if you’re afraid it will always happen then it will. This belief starts to get really really shaky when you throw in a small child. Did the 3 year old child – who knew nothing of sex or abuse – then have a mind set that attracted abuse? Obviously not! Despite the child not being like minded, the child is still abused. This is a very deep rabbit hole. For this reason I tend to stay away from the whole laws of attraction belief.
How about this… The world is full of assholes who will take advantage if given the opportunity. These assholes are everywhere in all walks of life. they are not exclusive to the poor, disabelled or convicts. What is going on around you – It’s not you, it’s not how you act and it’s not what you wear! It’s the people around you. When given the opportunity to not leer at you, not hit on you **they** choose to do the wrong thing. Chances are you are/were an unprotected or poorly protected child. An isolated person. For that reason the door of opportunity opens up around you more often. Instead of these people making the right moral choice, they chose to exercise power over you and abuse you.
In my opinion the most important thing to know is that, it’s not your fault that these people don’t make the right choices.
Agree..
Thank you, I know there are people on this site that have been in similar situations as me and I just wanted to reach out to whoever is comfortable enough to open up about their past and help me understand what I’m feeling, or to know I’m not alone in my thoughts. What you say makes sense and thank you for taking your time to post this
Diablo was molested as a child. Of course not her fault. However, she still holds that energy, which attracts the undesirable people today. I know this for a fact not because I was molested, but 3 years ago I went through a little ‘experience’ and I can’t for the life of me let it go. Guess what? I keep bumping into the same circumstances, same type people, same environment as three years ago. The faces have changed, but the play is the same. I’m attracting this junk.
And Diablo says, “I have thought about this for as long as I can remember” You become what you dwell on. If she keep thinking thinking thinking dwelling then it comes. You CAN’T DWELL ON THE REVERSE OF WHAT YOU WANT.
When I say “I have thought about this for as long as I can remember” I should’ve made myself more clear. When I was in Mexico with my dad and I wanted to go stay at my Aunts, I wasn’t dwelling on the reverse of what I wanted. I was 8 and wanting to watch Ice Age with my older cousin. But then, my cousin decides to start touching me, at that time I was still experiencing traumas from being touched. When I was 9 I was being molested by my “brother” I didn’t choose to wake up to him putting his hands down my pants, and I most certainly was not thinking to myself “Why are all these ‘men’ going after me?” As I was asleep. NOR was I thinking that while I was SLEEPING and my step dad decided to fondle my breasts multiple times as I slept. I didn’t put myself in that situation. It’d be different if I decided to go out and I attracted negative energy with my thoughts, but I wasn’t out, I wasn’t thinking about it. I was sleeping. Yes there have been other times too that I was thinking about “Why me?”. I understand what you are trying to explain but I think I needed to make myself I little more clear on my situation
Randall,
ou CAN’T DWELL ON THE REVERSE OF WHAT YOU WANT. nicely put! i’ll remember that line.
i feel the same way…like there is this big flashing sign that says take advantage of me or use me and abuse me…something like that. and it’s always been older guys for me too. i’ve never really understood why. they are anywhere between 10 and 20 years older than me. i feel like there is just something about me that attracts the creeps. 🙁
Im pretty sure its because people are assholes. There are people who have had no abuse who have been groped by asshole dudes. Im sorry this happened to you but it surely isn’t your fault.
Diablo,
no easy answer for that, men are predators it’s in their blood to want to have sex like a animal, 99% of the time if your alone with one thoughts of sex will occur, best thing is to not hang with guys as friends. interesting thought? you know how dogs run around sniffing butts what are they thinking about? 🙂 it’s instinct but i wonder because i never thought about it till now is it mostly male dogs that do that or do female dogs do it just as much? sorry for the poor analogy.
Is there a correlation though? I’ve heard of things like pheromones in animals but not so much about humans, but that’s not an impossibility since humans are technically animals. Is there really something that sends out signals to others that tell everyone you are sexually attractive? It’s something worth looking into, I guess. Think of the possibilities if we could find out how to control it.
In any case, your rape/molestation is not *ever* your fault. It’s the fault of those assholes who think they’re in a position to take advantage of you. Even if there was something calling out to them, it doesn’t give them any right to touch you without your consent. Attraction does not equate to consent. As human beings with ability to think, they should have used the brain in their heads instead of the head in their pants. Sorry about that I went off track.