Thought I was feeling better and maybe I am. But think its time to start coming up with a plan. Because I don’t want another or anything else for that matter in my life anymore. I still feel empty and sad, but I do things. I’m not in bed anymore. I try to move on and see other people, but don’t want to anymore. I fell in love with that girl and thought it was real between the both of us, but it was just me. I relized I fooled myself again or whatever. But also feel ready to go. Lived the best I could leading up until I met her and while I was with her. I don’t think I’m tired anymore of living without her. Maybe I don’t care. I don’t want to do better or just be. Maybe I’ll have the courage to do something else. Because I don’t want to die. But I’m definetly ready.
4 comments
It sounds like you’re still thinking of the past a lot. I don’t think you’ve had the best of life – I think you can be as happy as you were again in the future, however unrealistic it sounds. I hope you can give yourself a bit more time.
Sounds like happiness is still measured relative to her. It was with her, now without her. But that’s progress! Hang on. You’ll be truly free when things are measured against yourself, rather than relative to a girl, or friends, or whoever.
I’m very sorry. Her selfishness cost you so much sorrow.
Yes, it is measured to her. all my family is happy with eachother, so why wouldnt i think that. Life is stupid for a guy like me. It always has been a worthless meaningless life. I would like it to be over.