I just don’t think I can keep this up. This emptiness inside every night. I even had a great text conversation with a guy who seems cool from a dating site. I still long to die. Or just not exist.
I also realize I’m love with a celebrity. I’ve followed him on Twitter for years and actually met him at his show and took a picture with him. He recognized me. I didn’t expect to fall in love with his personality. This probably sounds insane, but it hurts SO BAD!! To want someone you can never ever have. It’s just torture and he has a girlfriend now anyway. I hate myself right now more than I can stand. I’m pathetic. I just want to die.
“This is my least favorite life. The one where I’m out of my mind. The one where you’re just out of reach. The one where I stand and you fly.” ~ Lera Lynn
6 comments
Hey there Miss,
I totally understand where you are coming from. Often the middle of the night is the hardest part of the day. In the middle of the night, we are left with our thoughts. During the day, we can hide them with a smile. Maybe there are people who can make us smile, so we can for awhile, forget about our sadness. Yes, I understand your feelings.
Miss, you’re not pathetic. Trust me. I know these feelings all too well. I’m a blind person, and often wonder about love for myself. How could anyone love me? I have so many flaws. Sometimes, I’ll need assistance with certain things. How could anyone love that? I know this isn’t the same situation as yours, but I know the feeling of feeling pathetic and that your life is not worth it. But let me tell you, it is.
Life isn’t always easy, but it really does get better. When it gets tough, find a friend. If you can’t do that, force yourself to smile. That’s what I do, and it does make it a little better, I think.
Feel free to drop me a line.
My email is: brl.cents@gmail.com
Someone will love you for sure! You sound like a wonderful person, such a sweetheart! Your “flaws” don’t define you. I think you’re great. Merry Christmas!
I’m sorry you are in this state. Loving someone and not being loved back is awful, regardless of the circumstances.
Thank you for understanding. It’s like a dagger in the heart when I see him tweet sometimes. I’ve considered blocking him, but I think back to that night of meeting him and he said “I know you from the Twitter.” Haha He’s been really nice to me so I don’t want to have to block him to keep from infatuating. I really am in love with him though. Falling in love with a personality, celebrity or not, can happen. I appreciate your reply. Merry Christmas! 🙂
One conversation isn’t enough to make big changes or even to really meet a person, but a few of them might do the trick (or at least keep you occupied for long enough to forget a bit about your issues). Even if life seems hopeless it might not be bad to keep talking to that person, even if just to have someone to keep you company.
The celebrity thing… happens. Keep in mind most celebrities (and well, most people) do keep a facade on social media. Even if you got to meet him in person there’s a big chance it’s just an act, and well… it’s pretty easy to fall for an act, i guess we all have at some point or another. So it doesn’t sound insane at all, and you’re not pathetic. Have a christmas *hug* and … well, there’s still new years eve, so i guess the self hate we all have is only going to grow bigger in the next few days, lol. I do hope that doesn’t happen to you.
The guy I was texting with last night from the dating site was a great distraction. It might lead somewhere. Even when I had a boyfriend, I was still infatuated with the celebrity I mentioned here. I just can’t help it.
Thanks for saying I don’t sound pathetic. I’m hoping you enjoy your New Year’s Eve no matter what and have a beautiful Christmas! *HUGS*