Tomorrow I go back to college. I haven’t done any of the work. Despite what my mum has been saying, it’s not due to me being lazy. I haven’t been able to concentrated, and I’ve wasted entire days spacing out and such (although a few people have told me it’s possibly depersonalisation or something -they have it themselves).
I’m not ready to go back to college, I couldn’t cope with daily life without the added pressure of college work. And I’m terrified of what my tutor will say about the work. It’s not like I can go up to her and be honest, saying ‘oh, hey, I couldn’t do your work because I just had too many emotional/mental breakdowns to count over Christmas, I sabotaged friendships because of irrantioal thinking that they hated me when they didn’t reply, I’m reaching the breaking point between me and my family, and I have been suffering terribly with hallucinations/delusions/paranoia/anxiety/emotions in general/etcetera.’
I don’t know what to do. I’m seriously considering dropping out of college; everything is overwhelming again.
3 comments
I too almost dropped out of college, in my case because of apathy and I have an exam tommorrow for which I’m hardly prepared. I lack motivation. Not some short/mid term motivation, but I have no life goals nor any expectations from my life, so there isn’t any real meaning in anything.
Anyway, I still went to my final exam, I got lucky on my second try and got the degree despite the overwhelming odds, stayed in the college and I’m definitely going to the exam tommorrow. What’s the harm in trying, what’s the worst that can happen? Sometimes not caring and going with head against the wall can be the best way. (Not literally). My life is a mess and I’m not really the best person to give advice, it’s just my approach that I’m stuck with.
Take comfort. Take a lot of comfort in knowing that if you weren’t feeling…….this way that you’re feeling…..you’d be toats mcgoats batshit. Congratulations! Knowing that yes, you are in fact, totally fucking sane, is half the battle. Listen to green day s welcome to paradise…..it’s far more succinct than that ‘time of your life’ inane crap
Good luck to you….I mean this in all sincerity
You could ask for more time for your work just by saying you had some family issues, and i’m guessing they won’t force you to elaborate much. I’ve always seen it as pretty normal that people kinda “shuts down” in the holidays and get no work done, so they might understand it as well.
That said… well, if you have issues, it’s even more likely that you’ll feel the weight of the end of the year assignments and everything that comes with holidays ON TOP off your regular issues, but that doesn’t mean you should drop out. Maybe taking a semester off to deal with things would be better, but (and i’m saying this cause i’ve been there) dropping out should always be last in your list (unless it’s because you don’t want to continue studying what you’re studying).