I made a decision as the clock turned midnight on new years if this year doesn’t pick up I don’t see a point in playing
this game anylonger, I might even quit sooner, Im 17 and my life is hell. I thought my life was going to pick up and finally go my way. I got a job interview, I applied for some TAFE courses and I was three weeks ahead on rent. Then christmas came around, I was kicked out and my rent returned (thankfully) I spent christmas packing, they gave me a week to leave (which Im pretty sure is against the law but whatever). I moved into my friends on boxing day. Their mum and dad love me but I feel like Im intruding on their lives. The younger brother who is my age keeps trying to well… ‘make moves on me’ I’ll leave it at that, it gets so bad I have to leave the house or lock myself in my room. I begged my dad yesterday to let me move in with him but he said no and I started talking to my mother again but
like the rest of the family she tries to manipulate me into hating which ever family member she is currently hating.
IM NOT A PUPPET! Im not some doll you can manipulate into doing what ever suits you. I spent one day with her and she kept calling me names when she thought I coulnt hear her. During which it was my grandmothers funeral, what goes through someones mind to think that its ok to beat someone down during a funeral. I keep trying to make peace with my family one member at a time but I know its a lost cause so I dont know why I keep trying. I need help
but no one is willing to, even the ones who have it on their pay roll. Im sick of this game, I dont want to play anymore. I didnt want to play in the first place… I made some drabbles since new years, I think theyll do better here then in a hidden folder on my desktop.
where did good go
did it vanish in the wind
or melt with the fallen snow
is that why flowers bloom so pretty
and light up this broken city
wouldnt good do better
in the people it surrounds
so they can help others
get their feet on the ground
Good, please its hard to see
what your doing surrounding me
in this field of broken dreams
when theres no one here
to hear me scream
Litte black box
filled with stars
shrap as blades
or is that what they are
you give me life
but can take it away
your so contradicting
I hope you stay
River of red
Rushing down pale paths
Started by the stars
Controlled to move
to just where they are
4 comments
your brother is making moves on you?? wow…
it takes time… once you finish studying and get a job and become independent, you can break away from your family. that’s what i did, i felt like a puppet, controlled by my family and friends, until i started earning my own money, doing my own thing.
tafe? are you from australia? i’m from sydney 🙂
Yeah, Im in Newcastle. Its just hard to cut off, I did last year but I felt so alone. I was in school, had a job and an apartment. I spoke to my nan and that’s it, now I just don’t know what to do it all went down hill so quickly and every time I find a way back up I get knocked down again, It just seems useless
you sound really intelligent, so i’m sure you’ll work something out. keep your chin up! it might just take a few years. you’re still so young.
you can talk to me if you want, and there are many others here who seem really nice. you’re not alone.
Where did good go? That’s strong this topic is worth Getting at. When I was 17 that was the first time of my life that I ever attempted suicide. It was because of a lot of reasons but in it I wanted the help and the support from family which I wasn’t and never got. Still That’s difficult bring 17 and parents not wanting you in. Wow my heart goes out to you who ever you are. Your strong to try to still get up and go. Those people who have parents are soo freakin lucky I only hav 1 who’s basically on disability. 17 is a tough tough age.