Reading some people’s posts here sometimes makes me think that I don’t have it that bad, if things are written on paper. At the same time I think thought that I personally am much worse. People here have attractive personalities and can socialize so well, they say creative things and go back and forth with each other so well. In contrast I just feel like a lurker, a package containing all the negatives of the human experience who found the ultimate worse addictions, feeling sorry for himself and reading about people who truly struggle with real problems.
I wish I could communicate better, and I’m not saying that there is something wrong with my English, just wish I could talk to people like normal people do, to enjoy recreational stuff like normal people do, to be able to manage my life I a proper way and not constantly feel ashamed of myself.
Thanks for reading
3 comments
I’d say that communication was spot on.
🙂 and I think you are pointing a subject that’s frequently present on many of us too.
I wish I could communicate better too, in slightly different ways. When I first found SP I couldn’t comment at all for a while. I still get anxiety about it. You hear more from the more confident people so it might seem like there are more of them, but there seem to be a lot more people who don’t talk at all here. There are so many posts where people mention lurking for a long time before they could post, whether it was because of anxiety, not knowing what to say or other reasons.
I don’t think how your problems look on paper is that significant. It’s just how you feel on the inside. There are some people who feel much worse than others, but we all felt bad enough to find this place, which means everyone’s problems are worth listening to. 🙂 Your struggle on the inside is the most important part.
I hope you find things to help you feel that way and communicate easily. In my experience it can take some research and digging around to find help getting closer to most people’s reality, and I still feel severely depressed and have other issues that I need to work past to be able to enjoy recreational stuff, have an easy conversation and so on. Hopefully those things will come in time. I know when you have so many things you wish you could do or feel it can seem like you’ll never be able to get there because so many things are impossible or a huge struggle to you. But problems cause other problems, just like getting rid of an issue can mean others disappear with it. You shouldn’t feel any shame for any of the things you’re going through or can’t do right now. Best of luck to you. 🙂