I’ve been crying, cried myself to sleep. I feel so scared, so anxious and overwhelmed. I feel emotionally drained and I don’t know how to do anything.
I’m scared I can’t function enough to be in school right now, I can’t stand another setback. But I already missed one class, and haven’t even started the homework due on thursday, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the semester without my stats professor seeing me cry (I want to try to get a recommendation from him). I don’t know how I’m going to get my homework done. I feel too scared to think clearly, scared to even approach it.
And there’s no one to talk to. Normally I would talk to my ex (then fiance) and just telling her how I felt made me feel better, just having her be willing to watch tv with me helped. But now I’m alone. There’s my parents, I guess, but I don’t want them to think I have to drop out of school or think I’m any more fragile (crazy) than they already think I am. My friends, all long distance, can only say so much. or understand.
I miss her so much today. Her absence hurts so much.
4 comments
Mind if I asked what the exact cause of your crying is that you are aware of?
I can sort of surmise that it’s the feeling of or when you feel overwhelmed that brings on the tears?
Is there a mental health professional on your campus? I think it would be helpful to meet with them, and they may be able to help you better manage your schoolwork/responsibilities. At the very least, you will have someone to vent to. This may be anxiety-inducing or frightening to do, but email your professors. Tell them you are going through some personal issues (you don’t have to get specific) that are affecting your focus on school. Ask them to work with you on this, such as extending deadlines or checking in with you periodically to keep you on task. Communication is key, here.
This is more of a last resort, but you might also want to consider a break from school… I understand that it may be the last thing you want to do, but if you’re struggling so much that it’s affecting your ability to function in/out of class…? For your health and sanity, I think it’s worth thinking about. (I’m actually on a gap year right now, and it was really hard for me to come to this decision because of my family’s judgment and the fact that I’m not going to be able to graduate in 4 years anymore…but I think if I hadn’t, I would have had a terrible nervous breakdown and/or killed myself.)
I’ve been crying all day too. It stops for a while but then I start again. My eyes feel weird. But crying is better tan numbness. At least you still can cry and it helps.
Hey, I know maybe I shouldn’t be the one saying this, but try and see if your feelings are chemically manageable. I know a lot of people that got a lot better after geting some chemical balance. there’s nothing abnormal about it, all bodies are different and we all need some kind of help.
And if you can, spend sometime with your parents or with someone nice. Maybe you are just lonely. Loneliness does that.