Pointless, but…

I feel pointless even thinking about what I want, since the universe is against me, but first… I’ve found these videos that make me die laughing. This is my favorite, because it’s just so random and so ridiculous. But I’ve binge watched every video on the channel since yesterday when I found it. I prefer the videos without music, but for the live performances, those are best when they have very bad instrumentals too.

But anyway, I can’t claim to know if this is exactly what I want out of life because if I had it my way entirely, that would probably consist of winning the lottery, marrying the guy I love, and living in a cabin in the woods with a dozen or more cats. But, as things stand, I’m really frustrated because I have no more outlet for what I got to explore with him when he had nowhere else to stay but with me. I still watch videos about massage techniques and stuff like that, and home remedy type of health has always been an interest of mine. I also ordered a set of the squeeze cups so I could try it on myself, on my lower back and my legs. My legs are killing me!! And, of course, I wanted to try to make my own pain cream that’s strong enough to actually feel it. And I’d have to wait 3 days after “delivery” to complain to Amazon that the $50 of ingredients I ordered were left fuck knows where and I never got it.

In other news, I had planned for a while to take matters into my own hands and try crafting -something- to extend the clone I mentioned earlier in my confession of what we did, and how we fucked it up and only ended up with half of one. So, this was really crude, made out of cardboard and duct tape. Layer upon layer, trying to construct something similar in size to extend it. So it won’t be like the real thing, but I’m sure it’s all I’m gonna get. So I did it, and I’ll have to wait for the molding to separate from the sides of the container, slide it out, cut it to pull the original out, and “glue” it back together with more molding crap. Again, the shit went everywhere, all over my shirt and the floor. It foams up when it’s prime to mold. But it’s only been sitting for an hour. Just hope moisture/sitting in something for 12+ hours won’t fuck up the half-clone. Holy fuck, I’d lose my mind

I wish I could just do my own thing. I don’t know, do a little massage and hippie health shit, and mainly be a writer/artist/whatever working on my own time and schedule. I’m so tired of stress already. 🙁

edit…

there ya go.