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by evildandelions

The regret and sadness is really hard today (and most days).  Things could be so different, better- maybe not good, but better.

As it is, I may never see my ex again.  She’s my best friend, despite everything that’s happened, still the best relationship I’ve ever had.  I can only hope that after some time she might be willing to speak to me.  It’s so painful to think that if I had just left things alone, if I hadn’t forced her to speak to me, then we might’ve actually started talking again in February.

And I still would’ve had my dog, my baby.  This hurts so much.  I felt less lonely with the dog, less as if my whole family (fiance and two dog-kids) was just ripped away.

But I fucked up everything.  I can’t stand it.

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