Tag:

only hope

I’m always afraid.

by The White Rabbit 5/3/2016

written by The White Rabbit

No matter how quickly or how slowly I get to know someone… I always feel afraid of actually having any sort of relationship. I’m very much an open book, sometimes too much so, but when I meet someone I like I can’t help but open up to them and tell them how I feel. Like me back or not, it still leaves me vulnerable to being hurt by them, one way or another.

I always feel like something is going to happen, either that they’ll realize I’m a shitty person and distance themselves from me, or I’ll accidentally say or do something stupid and they’ll hate […]

5/3/2016 1 comment

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by quaero 4/22/2016

written by quaero

I had a job. A government job- with job security, promotion, retirement pension and all. I resigned on 2nd of this April. I have seen it all now. They can’t claim I was just a dreamer not knowing world and worldly ways. Though I hate society and its system to the very core of my being, I always gave them benefit of doubt thinking that maybe, just maybe they know something I don’t. Maybe things change with a job and responsibility. Anyway, on the positive note, nobody can claim I don’t have experience of worldly ways now. But it changed nothing. And I don’t know where to go […]

4/22/2016 1 comment

A lovely post concerning a girl. Had you goin’ for a bit there, didn’t I?

by thelost 2/23/2016

written by thelost

In the beginning there was darkness, and that seemed like all there would ever be. Then something amazing happened. A massive burst of light lit up all of existence while simultaneously creating it. In my case, the darkness would be my life. Not chaos, and there was no pain, but there was nothing to light it up, nothing to justify its existence. Then she came into my life, and it all became clear. I no longer feared the depths of myself, and I felt like the invisible hand that seemed to crush me from all sides loosened its grip. It was pure randomness, chaos that […]

2/23/2016 1 comment

Regret

by evildandelions 1/11/2016

written by evildandelions

The regret and sadness is really hard today (and most days). Things could be so different, better- maybe not good, but better.

As it is, I may never see my ex again. She’s my best friend, despite everything that’s happened, still the best relationship I’ve ever had. I can only hope that after some time she might be willing to speak to me. It’s so painful to think that if I had just left things alone, if I hadn’t forced her to speak to me, then we might’ve actually started talking again in February.

And I still would’ve had my dog, my baby. This hurts so much. […]

1/11/2016 0 comment

sigh

by disgusting 1/1/2016

written by disgusting

A depressing, lonely new year’s. I sent a facebook sticker animated kiss to the guy I like earlier today and he had to once again tell me to not read too much into it that he laughed, and to me that’s like he might as well say I’m too gross and disgusting to think about. I really don’t need reminders, and wish he didn’t have to say those things every time we do talk, as if I would forget that he’s never going to be mine and need to be reminded constantly? No, I don’t need the reminders. He doesn’t need to keep putting up a […]

1/1/2016 4 comments

little faith

by onlyoption 9/15/2015

written by onlyoption

Last night I prayed; I prayed for forgiveness then I prayed for help, and by the end I was praying to go home, begging the Lord to just let me die. If I alone do not have the strength to end my life my only hope is Gods’ mercy. I’m sure faith shouldn’t be like this…

9/15/2015 8 comments

Alone.

by prosser6 9/13/2015

written by prosser6

I hurt myself again today.

Just to make sure I’m still alive. Another scar on my arm, another broken frame.

The blood falls onto the sheets, the crippling fear at my gates.

Another failure in the books. No one hears my screams, my happiness is a lie.

But that’s the price of making others happy.

And the only pain in death is felt by those who are left behind.

Our empty world is cruel, hurtful and unforgiving. It will break you.

I still remember your beautiful face. Those fleeting moments we shared.

I can only hope you’re still with me, holding me close while I cry myself to sleep.

I don’t blame you. Your […]

9/13/2015 2 comments

Today

by lifeishardXbro 8/15/2015

written by lifeishardXbro

Today, was terrible. It started off with me being lied to. Then that lead to me doing something terrible because of that lie. Next, I went throughout my whole day thinking that was a great thing I did. After school, I got a text asking why I did that terrible thing from the person I did it to. I asked about the lie and they said it wasn’t true. Then, that person blocked me, and I really needed to say more to them. Then, I figured out that I did that terrible thing for no reason and my crush, hated me. It was terrible and […]

8/15/2015 4 comments

I can’t take this pain.

by brokenbleeding_angel 8/3/2015

written by brokenbleeding_angel

I can’t take this pain anymore. I’m a young adult not even able to drink and my family disowned me. My boyfriend broke up with me and is already seeing someone else even though I still love him. I have no home and my only hope is to become a stripper to pay the bills and I’m not sure that’s even going to cut it. I don’t have a car either. I feel like I’m suffocating with nothing going for me. All I feel is so much pain and agony I can’t breathe.

8/3/2015 1 comment

by blurryface 6/6/2015

written by blurryface

ive thought about killing myself for longer than i can remember. the past few years all seem to be terrible and everything goes wrong. im a failure of a person, i have no job, i graduated and haven’t done anything since. i dont have any inspiration to do anything anymore. i’ve been cutting again the past couple of years, and it only escalates, it’s gotten worse instead of getting better.

i found the one person in my life that made me want to live. id spent so long thinking i didnt have a place in the world, that i was meant to die a long time […]

6/6/2015 2 comments

happy birthday to me

by kristink 5/27/2015

written by kristink

well today is my birthday. and i am debating whether or not i want to stay alive. no one knows what is going on with me or else i probably wouldn’t be sitting here alone. but that is ok. the people who do know i am suicidal ie shrink, therapist, all have other people to attend to. i am willing to bet i am not even on their radar today. i have the means, a place picked out, all i need is some gumption to get moving. the bottom line is i can’t take living like this anymore. this depression just won’t let up and […]

5/27/2015 4 comments

too weird to live

by Hunter s 5/7/2015

written by Hunter s

Obviously my name isn’t hunter s, but he is a man i admire and whose writing has helped me immensely through the years. i should start by saying that i’m not here to write my suicide note. not yet at least. i’m here because i’m broken. i have almost nothing left to lose (i say almost because i’m still alive, sort of..) and no reason to live but no reason to die. I’m here because my heart is broken the venom from all the shit people i call friends and family has been building up and burning my insides for so long that its finally […]

5/7/2015 1 comment

Avery Elizabeth

by Sammi6xoxo 3/29/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

See that little girl? Her names Avery. She’s my baby sister. She’s my biggest reason for living. I absolutely dread the day that she starts thinking for herself. As soon as that happens, my father will abandon her just like the rest of us. All 8 of us. She is the epitome of innocence and love and I can only hope that her mother comes to her senses and leaves my dad. She was a good parent to the 3 kids she had before they got married. […]

3/29/2015 2 comments

Light

by Sammi6xoxo 3/24/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

Take My Hand

Whispers exchanged under cover of the night
Lovers bathed in pale moonlight
His hands on her hips
A kiss on his lips
There isn’t a moment that he’d dare to miss

Close the space between them
Suck the air from their lungs
Let the passion begin
Burning hotter than the sun
There isn’t another that she’d dare to love
She can only hope that she is enough

Could she possibly satiate such an appetite?
When She sees the lust burning in […]

3/24/2015 15 comments

I don’t know what to do anymore

by hes1996 3/16/2015

written by hes1996

All my life, i’ve been hopinh that the future will bring something good. So far my life has been filled with pain, I know it may seem how I have it easy compared to other people with real problems, but every time it comes, it hurts so much. Mosts nights I spend crying myself to sleep. This has happened for the past three years. My only hope and is that I have someone to be happy with, she held me up, she made me feel that I wasn’t trash, that I could be something, that I was human. Even with her being around whenever it […]

3/16/2015 0 comment

I Desire Death Even Though My Life is Ideal

by Realm of Great Darkness 1/11/2015

written by Realm of Great Darkness

I have a boyfriend who loves me, as well as a grandmother and friends who do so, too. So why do I feel so urged to commit suicide? Y’know what I think about sometimes? A scenario where everyone hates me, and has moved on. That way, I’d be able to kill myself, and it be more of a selfless act. I know I can’t die with things being the way they are now, and it’s not like I plan on making people hate me, I only wish I didn’t care so much about the ones in my life, so that I could do this without […]

1/11/2015 8 comments

October 12, 2011

by dead 12/28/2014

written by dead

was the day you left me. It’s been over 3 years. I don’t know what to think. You told me if we were meant to be, it’d happen. I still believe you’re my soul mate, but I don’t know where you are, what you’re doing, how you are, or even if you’re alive. I know you needed to leave, I needed you to leave, but fuck you. You haven’t checked up on me once. I was fine for a while, I’ve gotten used to the fact. I barely remember what it’s like to have you in my life other than you made me the happiest […]

12/28/2014 5 comments

A whole damn year

by alina_01 12/4/2014

written by alina_01

has come and gone and I still can’t believe any of it. Exactly a year ago I was in a very shitty relationship that was falling apart and taking me down with it. I can’t believe that it finally ended especially the way everything has gone down. I also can’t believe that in two months I will have had a close friendship with someone for an entire year. That person whether they meant to help me or not did more than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for that, for them and everything that they have done. I am sad because these […]

12/4/2014 4 comments

I’m scared..

by ritualmusic 11/20/2014

written by ritualmusic

My mind won’t focus on anything but suicide. Everyday I envision the multiple easy ways I could end it. I don’t only think about them, I visualize them. Like mini hallucinations. I’m terrified of what my brain is doing to me. Should I check myself in somewhere?

Anyone who says suicide is a choice is full of shit. Suicide is a battle, one you only hope you’ll survive.

All advice is welcome, and yes, I’m medicated.

11/20/2014 8 comments

Tonight?

by JustLauren 10/21/2014

written by JustLauren

Hello SP,

Well…I thought someone should know. Maybe that way, someone could care. Perhaps.

I had planned my suicide for the end of November, but current circumstances has bumped the date up to tonight. The plan is to overdose. Now in case this doesn’t work out, I have a school paper I have to finish and email to my professor so if I do fail, I don’t screw up the rest of my life (such as school). But I can only hope that this works. I took off of work tomorrow morning so that, in case I fail, I don’t have to come in. I’ll be too […]

10/21/2014 6 comments

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