Do you know what’s the worst thing about suicide?
It isn’t making the decision.
It isn’t buying the things you need.
It isn’t writing those letters to your loved ones.
It isn’t booking the hotel room, so your loves ones doesn’t find your body making it worse.
It’s not even the preparation: putting everything on the table, so you have everything in one place and you just need to sit down and start. Oh no.
The worst thing is when you plan everything, you do everything and 36 hours later you f_cking wake up looking like shit, pale, and you have to go home and pretend like nothing happened.
It’s not the first time and not the last.
7 comments
Yup, failed suicide attemps suck. I had one suicide attempt about 4 months ago and I wound up in a coma for 2 days in the hospital and well… I am still here now and the whole situation was fucked up and painful and embarrassing and the worst part is that I lived through it. I was so close to death. But close doesn’t count and now i have to go on with my pathetic life.
When I was a child I thought it would be easy to end your own life. I was wrong. Its not that easy.
Anyway I hope that life gets better for all of us and we can carry on and that we will all have peace somehow.
I think I was close too. I was knocked out for 36 hours, I even went to the hotel’s bathroom, because the door I definitely closed was open when I woke up and the bathroom was a mess. I am partially deaf now, because the massive dose of aspirin.
I just don’understand why didn’t I succeed.
My life isn’t going to get better.
Another worst part of suicide is that you lived, but haven’t dealt with whatever brought you to; the decision, the buying things needed, the letter, the hotel room.
Now you’ll try again and again and again because that ‘THING’ whatever that is…WHATEVER that is…is still there haunting you, crawling in the shadows waiting.
Ya gotta dig that demon out once and for all.
I plan digging that demon out with trying again. Nothing can keep me alive. That thing brought me to the decision and everything cant’t be changed, can’t be undone.
this is the thing; even with planning, you still may not die. which is why i havent done it. Not interested in failing. it would be worse than now.
If you’re dead set on trying then first drop the word ‘try’.
Second; the most effective way is a shotgun to the head. Google it. It’s 99.9 percent effective. Messy though.
There are other effective ways and you’d have to google ‘most effective ways of suicide’, but shotgun is a done deal. FYI
Buying a shotgun in my country isn’t that easy. You have to go on a training and pass a psych test. Now I don’t think that I would pass that test.
Trust me, I have searched for methods. I don’t want to go out messy, cutting and slicing is not my style, I just want to sleep forever.