I want to live in a world where I don’t have to talk, don’t have to explain, don’t have to figure out topics of conversation or be up-to-date on the latest bit of gossip at work or the latest media tidbit everybody’s talking about. I want to live in a world where I can do my own thing on my own time, for myself, and not worry about how strange it looks to any onlookers. I want to live in a world where professional sports, politics and religion don’t even have words to describe them. I want to live in a world where I don’t have to navigate the nearly biological imperative to relate to other human beings. Is it too much to ask for silence to replace the sounds of traffic, planes and the general rumble of human activity? Everyone talks too much. Even me. I think each person wants all other people to remember they exist, desperately, because it’s a terrible thought that you might be forgotten and lost. It’s hard enough just being lost, but people treat that condition as though it were any other thing but true. We all wake up to make a dollar, because a dollar must be made, food must be bought, rent must be paid, and then one day you die, after countless days spent on those necessities that everyone, everywhere must pursue. The occasional mental breakdown serves as evidence that you recognize the problem but don’t know exactly what to do about it, and everyone around you doesn’t seem to notice it in their own lives. The world is full of that recognition from time to time.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
10 comments
Good post. Reminds me of “Sounds of Silence” by Simon and Garfunkel.
“And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening”
True, “Everyone talks too much.“ And………. few people actually listen.
I have trained myself to speak less often.
I listen to conversations of others and it almost always seems like a One-Upmanship dialogue, with the responding person simply telling a better story than the others. And on and on it goes. It’s hilarious, and sad, to watch.
I think it’s a kind of tug-of-war, or like a tribal war dance set to laughter and endless streams of words. As though if someone were to stop talking, they might cease to matter, or the Earth might stop spinning and we’d all get tossed into empty space. I don’t talk much. Sometimes I feel like I walk around in a silent bubble, or a center of low pressure in a tropical storm – everything swirling around frantically while I’m just meandering along through the stale air. Generally, I like it that way, but I can’t seem to reconcile it with feeling as though I’m missing out on something important. I can’t for the life of me figure out what, though. Maybe bacon, or kittens. I don’t really know.
I agree with everything that you wrote. If you look at it objectively there’s actually this huge set of norms that everyone just keeps following without even questioning why, which makes sense, because if they did, they’d realize it makes no sense whatsoever. People are excessively noisy, in a “hey! me! i’m here! notice me!” kind of way. My guess is everyone is just looking for some sort of meaning, but… yeah, i don’t think it can be found in the current “trendy” way that everyone thinks. What can be done about it is just doing your own thing and don’t minding the others, which isn’t ideal but at least it’s something. Eventually you sort of learn to drown out the outside noises and screams for attention, and you end up focusing in your own, which might be a good or bad thing, but yeah, ignoring the outside world might not be the best solution, but i have no idea what would be a better solution than that. And i have no idea if this rambling makes any sense too, lol.
I think i know where you’re coming from but it means that you’re going to be an outsider. And if you don’t mind, then go for it.
For me it’s not really a choice, I’ve always been an outsider. Sometimes i like it and sometimes its hard and i wish i could ‘be like everyone else’ because it seems easier to talk shit and just get along with people effortlessly.
Humans are a social species and from my observations, as a general rule, people who are good with people get further in life. Whether it’s shallow or fake or not, I think this seems to be the general rule of thumb.
So sometimes its useful to know how to fake it, at least a little. The workplace is competitive, there is always someone who could take your place, so if you don’t at least try to learn how to play the game, you will be left behind.
What does it mean to go further in life? 8 feet under ground, ultimately, rather than 6?
But hey I’m just talking shit, just like everyone else
So you don’t need to take what i say seriously
become a monk. join a monastery and take a vow of silence.
some people do that.
That’s still a social environment that’s possibly more demanding than living in the vein of a normal life. I’m sure small talk still exists for mute monks, it simply takes much longer and is more elaborate.