Drunk already….

It’s just passed noon here and I’m already drunk. I need to write because I’m struggling alone here. I quit all my psych meds and I’m going through some bad shit. I have to stay strong though. Being on meds made me fat and stupid and lazy. I’m tired of living in a fog. I recently read Anatomy of an Epidemic and it’s about how mental illness has gone out of control since the advent of modern psychotropic medication. Big pharmacy companies are full of shit and for most people these drugs do much more harm than good. I recommend anyone suffering on meds read it. I just want my old self back. I don’t know how I’m going to do it but I’m determined to make it. I am thankful for this website and wish everyone reading this good luck with their struggles. We have to have hope that things can get better. I have suffered with depression since early childhood and was very suicidal as a teenager. But things got better once I went to college. I’m thankful for the ups and downs I lived through in my 20’s and 30’s so to all you still in high school and college, please keep on going. I haven’t been happy since I’ve been on meds, just numb. I’m hoping that if I can get my body clean and can have a few more good times before I go.