For the first time someone envied me. It was my sister nonetheless. She envied my temporarily contentment and mistook it for happiness. Her tear stained cheeks, and hurt smile stirred the inner demons inside of me. The ones that thrived on the lost, the broken. It took a fairly decent amount of my mental health to hug and talk to her about what was bothering her and then sharing some of my *gag* feelings. I had to explain to her that in that moment I am content, not happy but i am okay with just being alive for now. That within an hour or so that moment of temporarily contentment will pass and my thoughts will kick in and render me into a curled up piece of shit on the floor that people will prod and speak to, but will walk away when they realize that you’re not their fantasy girl.  When they realized that you cant be helped