When the bath’s drawn, the phone’s off, the house is empty… as it always will be… what do you do? When there’s no friend to call, no family in existence, no job to work, no place to attend, tomorrow, nor the next day, nor the day after, no car to drive, no health to live? What then? Cannot one simply slip into oblivion, forevermore? Isn’t that okay now? Finally?
I’m stalling. Why? Is there a man to stampede through the front door, thumping his chest with the almighty courage of one in love, to say, nay! Not tonight! This shall not be! Whisking me away in his arms, hair blown back as he glides us to a safe place where I am questioned, held, comforted, spoken to with unwavering interest and compassion. Telling me no one else interests him, I am his one and only. When my hope wavers, he keeps me strong. Why love, haven’t you ever considered just trying to _____ and _____ to make your life easier? Don’t you know I’ll be here for the ride no matter what? The outcome is irrelevant to me, I just need to be in your life. Yes, that’s right. I need to stay. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried! You have a real future. Don’t let now get in the way of later. What happened to achieving _____, and ______? I know you can do it. Together, we can do anything. Love will guide us. Tomorrow I will pick you up to go get started. No, you cannot lay on the couch if you feel sick. I care about you and you are getting this shit going immediately. We will go ______ and ______ whether you like it or not, so push whatever feeble plans you’ve made aside, this is your future! God knows that you’ve helped me off my ass enough times. Now it’s my turn. As for tonight, let’s go spend hours making love, this world full of empty quickies is enough to make me pull my own fucking trigger! Then you’re sleeping at my house, and tomorrow I will take you to start your new life. Shh. No, don’t say a word. You have no choice. Let’s go. I’ve got this. We’ve got this. You don’t have to hold yourself up anymore, you brave, brave woman. I will return the favor now, and thus forth. I am your man, your knight, your dream lover, your best friend. I’ve never known what true friendship was about. I’m sorry my old ways made you feel so alone and weak.
Where once I was blind, now I can see. Suddenly all problems seem finite, not one without a solution. Hope is restored. I am not alone, and I never will be. The past is meaningless, the present just fine, the future even better. Alas!
Then I notice the stucco hasn’t moved, those four familiar walls threaten to drown me. I come back to reality, or rather, Hell. No sound but the ringing in my ears, no motion but the candlelight. Finally, my bath calls…