Broken

I’ve lost 2 relatives that I was close to, both times I was woken up in the middle of the night and told they died. I get so afraid to sleep, in fact one of my worst fears is that I will loose my very closest and dearest loved ones while I sleep. I’ve had nightmares that it has happened and I wake up sobbing. My aunt died and they woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me. I have been battling some depression and Monday felt like a good day for me. Then I find out this morning that not only is my aunt dead but she had been dead since Monday morning, a whole day and no one knew!! Not her husband or her kids or her “friends” no one thought to check on her!! She died alone and NO ONE noticed how fucked up is that?! I’ll never see her again, hug her, laugh with her and I won’t be able to let her know I love her.  So in reality Monday was a horrible day, today is a horrible day and it will be horrible for awhile and a piece of me will be missing forever.