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Cannot keep going…

by grieving24

I literally don’t know what else to say except for “I just can’t do this anymore” I am divorced from a man who abused me to the point that I don’t even know who I am anymore. He is VERY wealthy and is currently in hiding in Denmark with my daughter whom he went against court order and kidnapped. She already had a passport signed by both of us because we traveled quite a bit for his work.

As of right now he cannot be found. I have run out of all my savings due to having to pay 2 lawyers, one here in the states, and the other in Denmark. I have NOT A DIME LEFT, therefor I cannot continue to pay my attorneys… My grief over losing my little girl is something I cannot even begin to put into words, my worry and desperation is insurmountable, not to mention the mere thought of what SHE is going through is enough to kill me right here and now.

My family is not close, so I have very little to no support. I had to take a leave of absence from work due to my severe grief and being diagnosed with “broken heart syndrome” (Yes, it is an actual heart condition) Each day is worse then the one before, my heartache and grief are spiraling out of control. I feel as though I am falling down a black hole and can no longer see any light at the end. I have lost all hope, I cannot eat, sleep or concentrate. I have no interest in anything, all I can do is sob, day and night. I try to sleep all the time just to escape the pain, but when I do sleep all I can see is my baby’s face and hear her calling for me, then I just wake up sobbing again.

There is nobody to help me and I can no longer pay for lawyers to help. Yes, if he is found he will be arrested and extradited back to the states, but he has an endless supply of money and places to hide. He must have been planning this for some time. He is a classic narcissist and believes HE is all my daughter needs. He is also an alcoholic, porn addict, sexually deviant  and very abusive. My daughter is in EXTREME danger and I am going out of my mind with worry and hysteria.

My point is that I simply cannot go on, I cannot live another day without my precious little girl, she was my life, my EVERYTHING, and he knew that and knew it was the only way her could completely destroy me, though to this day I have no idea why. I am a Christian and have spent thousands of hours in prayer begging God to have mercy on my daughter, but I am now losing my faith quickly. There is simply NO reason to go on for me, I am slowly just fading away anyway, and suffering with each breath I take. I have no desire to live another day full of pain and suffering. Like I said, my family is not close and my mother only knows how to feel sorry for herself, she is of no comfort to me. I am truly ready to go, there is simply nothing more to say. I suppose I just needed to share with someone, or for someone to hear my story put into words… If anyone reads this I want to say thank you for taking the time and thinking of my little girl and I, if only for a minute…

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4 comments

Dawn 3/1/2016 - 12:54 pm

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry this is happening to you and that you are going through this! Thank you for sharing this with us though. I’m am so sorry. I am completely devastated. I can’t even begin to imagine what this is like for you… Just know that you and your daughter will be in my thoughts.

grieving24 3/2/2016 - 8:48 am

God bless you Dawn, you caring comment has gotten me through another day. Thank you for your kind thoughts…

Drowning 3/1/2016 - 1:05 pm

Hay I read your post I’m on the edge to trying to find the strength to carry on your not alone

grieving24 3/2/2016 - 8:50 am

Hello Drowning, thank you for your reply, I am glad I posted here, because even though everyone is going through awful pain at least I do not feel so alone. I would not wish this feeling on anyone. God bless you.

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