Grasping at straws

Hi PineBapple,

The name’s Jack. This was the only one of your posts I’ve ever seen, so no, I haven’t been following your posts. Nonetheless, I do know what you’re going through. I’ve been dealing with this for decades! It isn’t easy. I often feel as if I’m grasping at straws.

You do realize that intelligent people are more prone to depression and suicide than people of lower intelligence, right? So, no, what you’re saying is not condescending; it’s a fact. My IQ is 168. And I’ve been dealing with this bad mojo since I was a kid. But I’m 50 now, so I’m a survivor. But still, I’m not out of the woods yet; probably never will be.

And yes, I know what it’s like to lose all fascination with life. I don’t spend 18 hours a day in bed, though. My situation is different. Sleep is the enemy. Haha! I spend most of the day in a daze, like a zombie. I get up at 2AM, and wonder why I even bother going to work every day. I don’t enjoy it. I detest human society. I detest this greed-driven market-society that in which we find find ourselves. But for some reason, I go through the motions. Shit, shower, shave, eat, work, etc. Rinse, lather, repeat. Not much of a life. What’s the point? I don’t know? Not a good answer from a guy with an IQ of 168, I know.

I used to paint. But I haven’t painted anything since 2007. I play the blues, but there are days where I don’t even touch my guitar. I used to write books. But I haven’t had a book published since 2011. I used to ride my bicycle 100 miles every week. But I haven’t touched the bike for months. I used to do a lot of things; don’t do much anymore. Yeah, I feel for you.

This website has helped. But I’ve only been on here a few days. What happens when this get’s old? Same answer. I don’t know? Continue grasping at straws, I guess.

Sorry I couldn’t be much help.

Respectfully,
Jack