My hearts pounding.
I want to call it quits for tonight, and go to bed.
Its only 10 PM. This’ll be the first time going to bed at 10 PM (before midnight) after months, and years and …
Too long.
I am not moving.
I am not caring.
I am sad and helpless and I need something
i’m holding onto my head stressing about going to bed so early. I haven’t done this before. What if I get horrible sleep paralysis tonight? This is a horrible decision. I’m going to be so f;ing–
Help. Someone help. Its wrong it feels wrong.
I gotta say some of this is my OCD crap. Its as if if I go to bed early something horrible is going to happen either during the night or the morning after. Like I’m screwing up a long term cycle and this decision will ruin everything in my life. Its going to ruin everything i fucking tell you guys ;( I should be doing homework, finishing up my book, doing something productive, not gong to bed earl-
DEar lord my hearts racing too fast.
oh man I am scared.
HA HA HA HA Isn’ THAT FUNNY? ITS LIKE I CAN’T EVEN GO TO *BED* EARLY WITHOUT STRESSING ABOUT GOING TO BED EARLY! WHAT THE HELL! HA HA HA. PROBLEMS!!!
OH MY GOD.
Problems.
HA HA i’M frigging hysterical right now!!!
I hope God is real.
I hope someone saves me.
No one will
No ones gonna care to read this.
12 comments
I care I read this I wanna help
God is real just ask him to take away the feeling in your head. He will take and you will feel peace .
Why am I so scared of going to bed early? Bad things can happen. Also, i will get horrible sleep paralysis because I haven’t went to bed early after MONTHS so I don’t know how bad this’ll ruin things.
ALSO; I don’t go to bed like regular people.
I have to clean up my entire room before I go to bed and right now I am too tired to oh my god help.
Do you have OCD medication or sedative medication you can take?
I have medication I do. I do but, I haven’t told my docotors about ocd. Its because its bad but its not THE WORST. and its pretty stable at the moment. but idk idk idk. i shoudl take the pill. ok i willl…yah i will. no i shouldnt –see, i shoudlnt because i shoudl test out if i can go to bed like normal poepl do because its nmonths and i dont know if i can sleep normally or not and idk idk idk. fuck my xister brothered me for minutes and now i shuld jsut wait until midnight argh jhjelp.
If you were able to take medication for OCD, you might notice an amazing difference.
You might wonder how you ever got along without it.
It’s worth a try; it looks like you can’t imagine staying the way you currently are for very long.
Irs not bad rhing to rest I wish I can come there and clean your room while slept .
Take deep breaths feel you lungs get full. Now bring your arms in and hug your slef tightly then breath out and repeat it helps with persure in your chest and help with anxiety.
Another breathing technique I learned a few years ago is to close your eyes and imagine you’re INHALING the color blue, and EXHALING the color red.
We’re programmed to see blue as calming, whereas we see red as the “danger” color.
So internalize as much calming blue as you can, while expelling as much red stress as you can.
It sounds odd, but it has worked for me really well over the years.
Imagine controlling the color blue until you’ve adjusted it until you’ve found exactly the most calming shade you possibly can.
Imagine controlling the red until it’s the most stressful, angry, critical shade you can imagine, and then exhale it out of you with every breath.
When I do that, I get calmer and calmer with every breath.
nobodies helping. i hate this.
Please try to breath and relax try one of the exercise.
What you are talking about makes perfect sense to me. There are certain times that I find myself not doing things the way I typically do and think “OMFG I am going to get diagnosed with cancer tomorrow, or my car is going to get totaled, something awful is going to happen because I am not following the pattern”.
For year I methodically did things the same way terrified that if I didn’t I would be diagnosed with AIDS. Yup. Magically diagnosed with AIDS even though I had been tested a ton of times. Even though I had none of the behaviors that contracts AIDS. Yup, because I didn’t follow the pattern. Death was imminent.