I was thinking about suicide and came to the conclusion that it is also a very “romantic” and passionate thing to do. This may sound awful, but I enjoy reading and hearing about suicides online and in the news. I do feel sorry for their loved ones, but it just inspires me and makes me think if they can do it, so can I and other people who no longer desire life. I try to put myself in their shoes, alone with some gun or rope or at the edge of a cliff ready to dive head first….adrenaline and excitement in their blood knowing life, hopelessness, and suffering are soon to be over. God what a feeling of power…to be able to end one’s life. In the afterlife (if there is one and we somehow retain our memories and personality) I know I’ll look for and give those people a lot of hugs, love, and respect. It takes a lot of nerve to surrender everything and suicide in hopes of peace and freedom. It takes a lot of will. Unless, of course, you’re one of the impulsive types, but still it takes a lot of nerve.