I’m sitting here in the dark, listening to the rain. It’s been raining a lot lately in the past month or so. I remember a few years ago the river flooding in low lying spots and coming within inches of flooding over the train track bridge. I don’t mind this rain at night or when I’m sleeping but during the day when I have to function it about kills me. I am not very tolerant of the cold and lately this has felt like an ice cold rain. There was one night in February I had to catch the bus home from work in an icy cold rainstorm, without an umbrella because I had no idea that it was going to rain that day. Thinking back I caught a nearly month long cold after that. It’s going to rain all weekend too. I’m thankful I’m spending tomorrow with my little niece and having dinner with my parents, I’m old enough where I like the little things like that. I’m tired too. Part of me is convinced I’m just dying a slow death already  or stuck in between  life and death. which is what my name here implies. That’s another post in itself though.  I think what I hate the most is I feel as if everyone thinks I have my shit together and I’m great.  I’m not.  I may look healthy and happy and all that bs but my brain is eating me alive. I made a great collage once depicting this, if I find it I’ll post it.  Anyway I’m rambling now. I honestly don’t even know if there is a point to this, if you read it, thank you.