And the worst part is I don’t even OWN a dog.
Anyway, woke up today with a terrible earache, which probably means my ear infection came back.
Hurts to eat or drink anything (chewing and swallowing, ouch).
It even hurts to talk.
So here I am, sitting quietly at home, eating and drinking nothing.
53 comments
I think you have a fart fetish. ha ha Your always mentioning farts in your posts. lol
IM sorry to hear about your earache. I hope it goes away > so you can eat and drink and speak.
Wish you the best.
Hey Pull my finger. LOL
I have a special relationship with farts.
LOL.
I think that they’re proof God has a sense of humor.
Never trust anyone who doesn’t find farts hilarious.
They’re free and accessible to anyone, rich or poor,
And I’m always fascinated by how we can tolerate our own, yet somehow other people’s are terrible.
(**pulls your finger anyway**)
Cordless, HA HA! I can’t tolerate my own!!! first the air in my lungs disappers and then my eyes start to burn! i put my hands around my throat AWWW! then run and jump in the pool!!!
Your farts must smell sweet! 🙂 do you eat a lot of candy? 🙂
Don’t eat rib’s with Diablos hot sauce that’s all i can tell you!!!
I probably eat more hot sauce in one week than you have had in your entire life.
The hotter the better.
Cordless,
When i’m like that I shoot up freeze dried Folgers.
@ PhantomCitizen43, Hey Pull my finger.!!!! Stop stealing my lines!!! 🙂
I actually have some freeze-dried Folgers in the other room… but I think I’ll leave it there for now. 😮
Cordless, Got me again!!! you remembered i don’t eat hot sauce!!! you littler stinker!!! get it stinker 🙂
At least I don’t light mine on fire…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGSGht1xJww
ha ha. I think those people have too much time on their hands. lol
but I have to admit > I got a good laugh watching that.
I myself dont set my farts on fire either… but I have to say its kind of funny to watch other people do it. LOL
When you think about it > its actually kind of funny that farts are flammable.
God made farts flammable so deaf people can enjoy them too.
PhantomCitizen43,
That was my first jet pack if i recall? Got as far as the top of the house. BEFORE I RAN OUT OF GAS!! 🙂
There’s an app you can get on iPhone and Android called “Jet Pack Girl Fart”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywyc0Nn6OGQ
Thats funny. I like the fart Jet Pack Idea.
It would be awesome to have this as a superpower.
Never need to buy plane tickets or car insurance ever again.
Cordless,
it just occurred to me, in that game how do you rejuvenate your farts? pick up a can of beans or something? and the scary part is you probably know the answer! 🙂
I have no idea!
Maybe there are magic beans.
If I could get this as a superpower, the fuel would always miraculously be there; all I’d need to do is concentrate.
I’d probably have about 50% fewer friends, but hey, a supervillain’s life involves sacrifice.
Cordless,
This is getting funnier as you go!!! superpower! all I’d need to do is concentrate! A supervillain’s life!
like superman! x ray eye’s, using farts to attack your enemies!
i guess your kryptonite would be ant-acid?
My kryptonite would probably be Beano.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beano_%28dietary_supplement%29
Cordless,
That is funny! i can’t remember what commercial it was but i think it was kids in some kind of candy factory making candy out of farts? only kids would think like that! 🙂 the funny part is some adult had to make the commercial.
I don’t remember candy commercials but I do remember the commercial for blueberry-scented markers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2b4BXEM6Cg
Cordless, OMG! That’s the one!!! we think alike!!! That’s scary! The world is in double trouble. 🙂
Indeed it is.
Nudity also accessible to anyone, rich or poor
Very true!
I wonder if God farts???
Of course if he does his farts must smell good and maybe even heal people. LOL
Hence the “Big Bang”, according to Family Guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoqSas2uFKw
That is baby Jesus’s farts. Gods are a tsunami.
I shudder to imagine what Satan’s would be like.
PhantomCitizen43,
You finally figured out the answer! we are god’s farts!!!
And some of us are more cabbage-filled than others.
I hope you feel better… and can at least eat/drink a little bit.
Still hurts too bad to eat/drink anything, but I guess I’ll have to force something down later on when I take my meds.
If it still hurts this bad on Monday, I might call the doctor.
When it comes time for me to take my meds, I need to take them with food or stomach pains get added to the list of problems.
Hopefully, the earache goes away. (Knock on wood)
Cordless,
YOUR GOING TO LOVE THIS!!! Maybe you need to fart???? 🙂
lol. If farting was the solution to my situation, I’d be eating lots of beans.
@rocketman: Tried it. Didn’t work.
@distant.road: And cabbage, and broccoli, and extra-ripe fruit, and fried things.
Cordless, One time someone I know was in such pain, rolling around crying, i’m feel like i’m dying!!! it was so bad i called his family they said call an ambulance well pay for it! the ambulance took him to the hospital, everyone was worried his family all showed up! must of been about 20 people! everyone was worried sick!! Come to find out he was constipated!!!!! Everyone was like what!!! i think the bill was like a million dollars 🙂 all they did was give him a laxative!!! 🙂
The title of this is the best transcript of a fart that I have ever read.
Yay!
Posts that start with dogs farting r really popular!!!
who would have guessed???
Perhaps videos would be even more popular?
Just kidding,.. I’m not trying to give any ideas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn1TwFG1mrQ
Nice video, Cordless. 😉
I do my best.
Cordless,
ha ha! only you! 🙂 What kills me is when they fart they looked like WTF was that!!! or it scares them!! i’m not going to say anything about the one in the bath tub 🙂
(*group hug*)
*hugs*
Only cordless would go on to Youtube and look for an actual video of Dogs farting and post it.
LOL
To give credit, it was awesome… and unexpected.
Hey, I have to do something noteworthy so people will have something to talk about someday at my funeral:
“Cordless was amazing at finding fart videos on YouTube. She posted about farting all the time. Oh, and I guess she also wrote music and stuff.”
The music is extremely impressive… There’s a lot of good in you.
Yup, I really like your sense of humor and I like your music too.
Keep posting the good stuff.
I just posted something new:
http://suicideproject.org/2016/04/hyper-haze/