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I want it to be over..

by TheStruggle2016

I’m a 24 year old guy and I’ve been in so much pain emotional for about a year. I’m financially struggling and in debt. I’m going to be starting college just now at 24. I have no job. I am also ashamed of my body because I have small wrists and only 5’4 tall. I moved out of my apartment and live in the basement of my aunt and uncle’s place. I don’t hang out with any friends and don’t talk to them much anymore. I feel like such a loser! The girl I care about has changed so much within 2 and half months. We used to talk on the phone, text and Snapchat but now she found some other guy and won’t even talk to me as a friend. I have shared so much with her and she used to talk about her problem before but now she doesn’t want to even talk about her problems with me. I opened up my heart to her and she crushed it and she doesn’t even realize it. She has known this guy for about 2 weeks and she is treating him so much better then she ever has with me. Now when it comes to my personality I’m a gentlemen and always put others before myself. I can’t stop thinking about her even though she keeps treating me so badly. When I have enough money I plan on buying a tire inflation kit with the tank that has pure-******** and going to buy a simple oxygen mask so i can breathe the pure ********, lose consciousness and die.

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7 comments

Ant1983 4/29/2016 - 11:01 pm

If you are struggling financially then the ******** may not be a good idea, I don’t know how much it is where you are but here in the UK I have been looking and the best price I can seem to find is going to cost £100 :-0 craziness.
I don’t think 24 is to old to only just be starting college tbh. When I was at college there was people in my class in their 40’s, it is never to late for things like that.
This girl sounds very fickle :-s sorry to hear that, but partners come and go all our life.. I’m not going to talk you out of your decision but really for a partner is not a good reason.

tryingtohope 4/30/2016 - 12:06 am

Hi

I just want to encourage you to not give up. You are not alone. We all feel scared and want to quit sometimes. College can be fun or enjoyable if you like to learn. What are you good at? What are you interested in? Hang in there.

Soco 4/30/2016 - 12:16 am

Hey struggle 2016, im not even going to pretend I know what it’s like for u atm. I’ve had a broken heart from a girl in my past, it fucking hurts. If u weren’t a nice guy u probably wouldve run right out and had a fling with the first girl u saw. Gentlemen like us will always feel more and ultimately maybe get hurt. Its the gamble of trying to find love I guess. Is there other reasons u want to end living besides the girl? Just asking cos u might find with a bit of tine and perspective u might find shes wasnt worth it if she just dumped u so quickly without a friendship at least.
Anyway just wanted to say hey. & hope it gets better for u.

Hazy Day Sunflower 4/30/2016 - 12:23 am

Hi thestruggle: I’m so sorry you are in this state tonight. I don’t think that solution is very well thought out. I’d hate to see you worse off than you are now. why not stay and read some of the posts here and talk with the folks here. Everyone is amazingly understanding and most have similar stories of losing hope in life for a lot of different reasons.

I won’t say it gets better, but I will say it changes and becomes a part of you. The pain becomes something that is an extension of my life and I sometimes even draw on it to do some pretty amazing things. You can get to this place too, but you will need to take a few hands in your life, either here or IRL and begin walking forward. Ever forward. I wish you peace, as you are suffering so much. There is a person waiting to love you in the future. You can’t meet this person unless you walk forward.

Soco 4/30/2016 - 12:23 am

Of course u have other problems, u said so in ur post!!!! *face slap*
Sorry I was just focusing on the girl.
Take care mate.

Hazy Day Sunflower 4/30/2016 - 12:28 am

Thats all I focused on as well. I have found if I have someone to love all else falls into place.

Soco 4/30/2016 - 12:36 am

Yeah I know right. It def makes things easier.
But I remember that feeling of heart break and it sucked sooooooo bad. I think that was the first panic attack I had. When I found out a girlfriend was cheating on me. It gets better with time tho.

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