I’m tired of pretending that nothing is wrong with me. I’m tired of hiding my depression from my friends and family. I’m tired of feeling alone. I just want to escape the path I’m on. I saw a boy in my grade succumb to death, and I didn’t even shed a tear, yet I really want to be with him right now. I’m tired of being the perfect girl, and pretending it doesn’t effect me when someone calls me a skank, cause I’m not. I’ve never even kissed anyone. I’m tired of being the pathetic one that my best friend has to console. I’m tired of living like this. I just want out for a while. I’m tired of this shit.
2 comments
me too. to everything except for the dead classmate.
I hope things get better. and it isn’t pathetic to ask for and receive help from friends; it’s what they’re for.
School can suck badly. I still remember all the fights and insults people used to throw around in school. But people got more civilized as I progressed further in the education system.
About other’s death – it sounds awful to admit it, but if we can’t relate to them, to what they have felt and where they were, to who they were and what happened to them, their death may not affect us much or at all. People die everyday. When I die, there will hardly be any uproar aside from my family. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just how things work.
This is also the reason why is SP such a great place. We all can relate to each another, either because we are/have been going through the same or similar problems and we can much better imagine what the person on the other side of the Internet may feel. But for someone who never experienced anything like this it may be hard to relate to us.
Not crying for someone doesn’t make you a bad person. Maybe you just weren’t that close at that time. I realized how little I had in common with people I spent almost a decade with, each and every day in the same room, when after few years that the school had ended and I had troubles recalling their names.