Against the Current

I’m starting to believe that even life doesn’t want me here. I find it funny how you can think you’ve hit the bottom and can’t go lower than that, but then you do. You sink further down into the abyss.

My family and my social life are falling apart. We’re economically fucked, I will get kicked out of school if we can’t pay the tuition (we owe like 3,000 dollars and that number will continue to go up if we don’t pay in time). The only place where I considered myself as “not so useless” (even though being good in school means nothing in real life; it’s not even an achievement). All my friends are there. It will be easier for them to forget me if I can’t even see them there.

As for my family, my parents argue. A lot. On a daily basis I guess. It’s been like that for the past 3 years or so. My dad comes home with no money, which puts my mom into a really stressful situation and in a very bad mood, which eventually leads into a discussion, like always. They are starting to become more and more separated from each other. They don’t longer try to solve each others’ problems, they just blame them on each other. I’m willing to bet my house that they don’t get divorced because of me (and for the record I may be kicked out of my house too if we can’t pay the rent).

But what can I say? That is how life is. That’s how my road so far has been. So my advice is this: Don’t think life can’t get worse, because it can. Never tempt it. Never underestimate it.

Ever.