I wanna start by sayin when I post here I dont want to sound like some winny 23 year old we all know theres no where else to vent to , even right now my heart is broken with dispair nd I want to die I need the courage to do myself in
With that being said maybe if I could jus reach a new friend here maybe something will change so SP …
What is everyone doing right now what do yu do from day to day lets just try And connect more
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Yesterday i was supposed to be working. Instead i sat staring at my laptop repeating I wish I were dead. I prob said it 500 times yesterday.
PS it dawned on me a long time ago that I was pretty sure there was no god after years of crying out for help and got no reply. I wasnt positive there was no god however until i cried out for deliverance. When you beg god to strike you dead and get silence its clear.
Like most people on this site I want it to end. But before it ends I want my life to be controlled. I want to do the best that *I* can so that when it does end, it won’t be because I was emotionally or physically distraught, but because I chose to. I get to chose the ending to my story.
This week I’ve been trying to be better, so when I wake up I write down on a piece of paper what i am going to do for the day. Parts of me get angered because I don’t end up doing what I wrote down because of my old bad habits. I am still trying to fix them, but as I am getting older it seems you can’t teach an old dog a new trick…. For an example yesterday I said 5:30-6:30 do homework, but I was watching youtube and sleeping…
I dont understand why Im here nd all I think about is if it does end how?
Hey friend, you can email me at treygo47 @gmail.com, if you wanna talk about anything.
Thanks man
I sulked as usual 🙁 however today was relatively productive; I wrote a one page novel about everyday psychopaths titled cold binary, I read some of war and peace, listen to old school rap and trance, chat with my Dad,*most importantly I cried and put my resentment aside… starting to come back to reality.
I’ve had a good day so far, got some grocery shopping done. Have to cook some dinner and figure out a lunch for work tomorrow. I spent more money than I probably should have but I’m tired of eating junk and unhealthy stuff. I’m actually in a pretty good mood today which is definitely nice .
I had like a relapse today nd its becomin hard but im tryna figure out some things I can do