You hate being lonely because you don’t have anyone to share your life with. But you want to be alone because all you have ever known is bad, and you know damn well that no matter how many times you try it’ll always turn out in the same end- you get let down, they get let down, or you let yourself down.
So you stay alone. No matter how hard it is. It’s okay though, you’re strong. You can do this. You don’t need anyone. All you can rely on is yourself.
That doesn’t change that you still long for something more.
You see, I don’t want love. I know that despite what so many of you believe it isn’t possible for me to have romance or “true love” or whatever it’s called.
I don’t want it.
That’s total bs, but maybe if I say in enough times it’ll become true.
7 comments
Yup.
This is so very true sigh.
I completely relate to this. I don’t want love either. Love means attaching yourself to something, maybe permanently — and there really isn’t anything in this world worth attaching to, certainly not another person or people, whose behaviors and feelings have always been hard for me to understand. I know how much I value the freedom to do whatever I want for at least a few hours every day as well as the freedom to quit anything including life itself. Love means the only way to get that freedom back is to break someone’s heart.
And yet I’m pretty sure that without love, I’ll probably always be unsatisfied with life in the end.
My thoughts are very similar, *sigh* Why do such happy things not actually exist.
Maybe they do, we just don’t want them.
I think it was the Buddha who said: life is suffering and the source of suffering is desire / attachment.
Since everything is impermanent, anything we attach ourselves to is bound to go away one day
The word love has no real meaning these days, people use the pretense of it to attempt to enslave somebody else emotionally and mentally.
Self reliance is a good skill to develop but to be truthful, “not needing anyone” is unrealistic. At best, you could need them less.
I felt this way for a very long time. If someone tried to get close to me I’d push them away thinking that I’m so damaged that they would be better off with someone else.
This started to slowly change when I got a puppy. Raising my dog turned my life around. Up until that fur ball, I hated my life and had nothing to live for, but then I found myself wanting to live and do better.
I’ve been trying to do better with my life and be more positive. I started dating and hoping to find love, which I’ve never truly felt or believed was possible. I recently met an amazing woman who loves me and I can feel myself falling for her. The ice around my heart is melting. This is what I’ve wanted deep down my whole life but never recognized. I should be happy, but I’m not. My health isn’t good and so I am pushing this wonderful and caring person away because I love her and want her to be with someone who is healthy and has a future.
What I discovered from all this is my assumptions that I wanted to be alone and didn’t need love where wrong. I never cared about my life, but I see now that having someone to care for makes me want to be better and happier person. So don’t be too quick to dismiss meeting someone, building a connection and possibly falling in love. I now feel like it is the only thing worth a shit in this world.
I’m curious to know more about why you all reject the idea of love?