I am hurting repeatedly. Guilted for feeling suicidal and a burden. I’ve lost everyone I cared for, but I guess it’s a good thing as I now realize I never meant a thing. No hope. The past traumas I’ve endured, can’t stop reliving…guilt guilt guilt. Humiliation. Let me die. We are all ticking time bombs, everyone leaves this earth. Why can’t I have the right to end my suffering at my own time?
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I have the same thing, I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for the things I have done in the past, and I’m ready to put an end to it all..
I plan on killing myself by lighting two pots full of charcoals in my car, while drinking and taking a bunch of sleeping pills. I imagine this is probably one of the most peaceful ways to go if done correctly, and timed properly.
reliving guilt! that is a tough one! everyone does it, time does heal all wounds, and it helps if you learn from your mistakes, and forgive yourself, you are only human, work on being a better one! don’t let the past dictate your future.
Im not going to try to be happy or positive. There are many many times that i feel trapped. I recently (yesterday) lost my gf of 2 years due to being depressed clinicly and suicidal. She said she cant wait 10 -20 years for me to be normal. The guilt that knowing that you are the reason for anothers pain. Even if its not in your control. Sucks. You cant go back and change it. I wish we all could. I so wish that. I just shared that to let you know that i know what the guilt feels like. I can feel it sharp and hot and fresh inside me right now and im sorry that you have to feel it. It eats you up inside and im sorry that you or i or anyone has to feel these emotions. Scenes replaying in our heads. Over and over. It really sucks. But you are not alone. I just want you to know that. When something is in my mind i can only do 1 of 2 things. No. 1 accept that its my fault. Accept that it happened that way. Accept i cant change it. No. 2 lock it away. Music, xbox, books, driving, just force myself to focus on something else. It may not be the best method. Im not a shrink. But im still alive.