At the end of my rope

Let me start by saying this. I’m sorry for not responding to comments on my own posts or commenting on anyone else’s. I really do appreciate the tremendous amount of support from you guys and I desperately want to give you the same. I just haven’t had the energy in so long. That being said, I’m utterly exhausted and at the end of my rope.
All of the shit went away while I was on the road today, but you can only drive so far before your falling asleep, out of gas, and hoping no one robs you while you’re asleep in your car. A change in scenery usually helps for at least a few days, but it lasted all of an hour after I got back tonight. Nothing helps anymore. Maybe that’s why I’m so incapable of being alone these days. I still don’t know if I have the balls to go through with it. Hell. I’ll probably just go home and go to sleep. But how long can I handle the repetition and the constant onslaught of shitty nights and half assed attempts at making things better? I don’t want to anymore. I just don’t have the courage to end it