I have dealt with depression for so many years now, going on 5+. I’m only 18 years old. I’ve recently come upon the realization that happiness is entirely an illusion. It’s a false experience that comes from a chemical reaction within us, and this same reaction can be recreated with certain recreational drug use. therefore happiness is actually bullshit, and why should I care about continuing on in this life? Every friend I make, I end up pushing away. Every girl I meet, I end up pushing away. I’m so fucked up at this point I don’t even know if I know who I am at this point. If happiness is an illusion, then what the fuck am I supposed to be staying alive for? What ‘gets better’?