Unfortunately I was forced into the mental institute twice for suicide attempts and because of that, I can no longer buy a gun legally. They put a hold on me which if I remember correctly was the lifelong hold.
I could have been gone by now, it could have been so easy..
I find it pretty silly how we are born into this world forcefully because of selfish reproduction but we as individuals aren’t even given the option to leave feasibly. A sick joke indeed.
I was pretty traumatized by something and every second of everyday I think about it. Every second of everyday, every single second without an exaggeration. Even my dreams are just filled with sadness. Almost 5 years now. I don’t like the idea of hanging.. I was thinking about the short drop suspension method.. I don’t know if I can do it but maybe one day, hopefully very soon, like within the year..
Survival instinct is a pain. Funny how your body fights for survival yet doesn’t help you get rid of suicidal thoughts. A sick joke from God maybe? If only I didn’t fear hell so much. If only I could make myself believe we chanced upon existance for no apparent reason but it sounds too unbelievable for me. To be ruled by a tyrant. It really is wrong for people to reproduce. Maybe it would be better if all humans would cease to reproduce and just let our kind fall into extinction. Of course, that’s a big no no for the grand majority. Whatever I suppose.
If assisted suicide isn’t something the majority want to be legalized whether because it is “ethically” wrong or a waste of tax payer money, at the very LEAST, suicide methods shouldn’t be restricted to suicidal people. Not all problems have solutions since “solutions” to suicidal problems depend on the individual and I know for a fact nothing can fix me anymore. Oh well.. All I want is to sleep for an eternity. I just want to get rid of my consciousness. I lost my will to live years ago, I even have various notes to prove it. The way I see it, once a human is broken, it is too late to save them.
3 comments
If only it were easy.
I think I will end up hanging myself. I too was traumatised by something not so long ago. It never leaves my head. I lost the one person who made all this better. I want out but my family is forcing me to stay. I dont have the energy to live anymore.
It’s really selfish that we are forced to stay in this fucked up world even when we don’t want to. This is my life. I should fucking end it whenever I want. I wany out!!
if it was that easy i wouldn’t have anyone to talk to including myself! HOW RUDE!!! 🙂
I would never encourage suicide, but I won’t tell someone they’re wrong for wanting it. And I’ve thought the same thing myself: Why can governments dictate how long I have to live? Talk about the ultimate control of a person! Even if for moral or religious reasons people think suicide is wrong, they shouldn’t have the right to stop someone, especially when they can’t or won’t even help the person who is suffering so much they want to die. No, its “I won’t do a thing for the misery you’re in, but you HAVE to keep living!” Whatever is torturing you, I hope you can find someone to talk about it with. I’ve had some success with EMDR for seriously disturbing memories. Google it if you want to learn more about it. Peace and love!