I was hoping things would change…
I still can’t believe it happened. My dream came true. I have been wanting to do this for a long time and it finally happened a few days ago. For an entire 7 days I felt normal again. For once in my life, I didn’t feel sad anymore. I didn’t feel worthless or guilty or empty. For once in my life, I felt happiness. I could feel amazement, awe, curiosity, excitedness, and joy. I don’t remember when was the last time I felt that way… But then I came to realize something. This was only temporary, and soon enough, I’m going to have to go back to my old, miserable life. I didn’t want to experience all of the stress again. I didn’t want to have to face all of the negative feelings again. Now I’m back to my old life and I have to deal with everything ALL OVER AGAIN. I am so sick and tired of everything…
It’s crazy how my dream came true, but now I’m back to the same nightmare I had before.
I’m sorry… I’m not your hero anymore.