I keep bullshitting on the subject, but i think im finally going to go threw with it. After the bell rings to go to the next period, Ill step into the bathroom and take all the pills that I have with me at this moment. This will be my first ever attempt but I cant help but feel guilty about it. I have 3 friends that love and care about me, when theres something wrong with me, they automatically baby me up. I hate it so much because, it feels like a pit in my stomach that I shouldnt do it for their sake. If they knew how unhappy I feel, they would understand why I would choose todo this to myself. I reached out to my boy best friend tyler before making the decision of trying my first attempt. He ended up telling one of the other two people that are so close to me about it and one of them came to the bathroom where I was crying at to try and help me. But I hate when they baby me, it just makes me want todo it even more. Ive bared this type of feeling for way too long and need to get this shit over with. My mother has me going to a therapist and feels that its going to help get these terrible feelings out of my head. Sometimes I do feel better but other days I just want to crawl under something and die. I dont know how successful this will be, but you’ll find out sooner or later. As people say, I may be doing this for attention but I promise that all I want todo is get the pain out of my heart. My father did it, so why shouldnt I?
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I know this is a controversial statement in regards to suicide, but if you think about all the pain your father’s suicide caused, do you think it’s worth it for you to go through with it? It sounds like you got friends, and a mother, that care for you. The pain that it would cause them would be immeasurable, as I’m sure you know. Also, I know it’s hard, and like you said you hate it, but try to accept their “babying”. They’re just concerned about you, and in the long run, it’ll be beneficial to accept their efforts to help you. It sounds like you’re still young, and you’ve got a good support network, there’s plenty of time to figure this out. Try to pinpoint when you first started feeling the way you do. Knowing the cause of one’s issues is a great first step to handling them.
Pills don’t work even if you tried the whole bottle, you’re just going to wake up in hospital.
depending on what type of pill is in that bottle, and other factors, taking as much as 500 pills can actually be non-lethal, and just be very very VERY uncomfortable and make you really sick like you’ve never been before
Trust me on this, most pills wont kill you with a single bottle, and a hasty done suicide attempt spur of the moment rarely turns out well, and ends even worse because of the fallout consequences.
Do some basic research before you even contemplate suicide to make sure it doesn’t go terribly wrong.
Whatever is going on I bet there is another and better solution to your troubles than suicide
And if you want, you might be surprised to learn what comfort, support and advice can be gotten here on SP
There are people here for you that will be able to relate, sometimes it’s amazing the shit you can find here that people go through, yet they are still here years later, posting about their struggle
You can too
Some even get better and don’t return much other than to say things are good now
You can too
Really think SadPotato is right ! Sounds like you are very young, and clearly have been through really tough times . But you have a mom that cares about you and friends that obviously care about your well being! ! Terrible about what your dad did wow! But plz think about how you felt after. Your life may be so different when your older! Hope you stick around to find out.