Been very depressed. Few months ago I was called a bottom tier ****** by my fiances father. He doesn’t believe that we should be together because of my skin and social status. He also hit me and I feel so angry and low that I allowed him to get away with it. I’m a professional guy but he still doesn’t like me. I left a good job because I thought I found my dream job. But it’s been total Hell here and my boss is constantly demeaning me and making me feel stupid. I generally get along with people but she contsrantly degrades me. I think I may end up being fired soon in my short time here. If that happens it will be almost impossible to find another similar or professional job. On the outside I’m the strongest one in my family, I take care and mentor my relatives that don’t have role models or a father figure. I’m always cheerful and taking on leadership roles even on team sports. But in the inside I’m the weak link.
My will to live is draining each day. Not a lot of people know it. Honestly, I probably would’ve done it sooner, but I’ve been holding back because of my mother. She drove 5 hours to comfort me when I told her I was starting to give up. She loves me dearly with all of her heart and soul. My Dad loves me too, but I think he’ll be able to move on. I’m more worried about my mom. Also, I love my fiance and she loves me, we hardly ever argue and I think she’s the closet thing to a soul mate. She’s the kindest person, but I think I should let her go with my death. Plus she has a strong family that will take care of her after my death. I”m more worried about my mother so I’ll probably take money out of my savings and give it to her. It’s painful and I want to release this pain. I bought a Ruger gun and I’m writing out a detailed note to my family.
3 comments
You sound like someone who may actually do it.
Please don’t. You will cause untold misery to those you love the most.
I have known people who killed themselves, and it is just horrible. Please don’t.
Get help. It is NOT worth killing yourself over a bad boss or an asshole father-in-law.
Please don’t do this. Get rid of the gun. Reach out
You are not alone.
Just imagine their reactions…
Your father-in-law, would think: oh what a loser I knew from the beginning that he was a weak man who can’t take care of my daughter.
Your boss, would probably search for a new employee without even pretending to be sorry.
Your fiancé, would be heartbroken and she will surly blame herself for your suicide. After a while she’ll get over you and find someone new.
Your mom, she will never get over it, she will think about your suicide everyday of her life. You’ll be ruining her life forever.
I always think about the people around me whenever I’m suicidal. I hope that you’ll try to find a better solution for all of your problems.
I totally agree with the above posts. You have people in your life that truly love you and care about you, wonderful support systems. But if you are going to live, you have to do it for yourself. I think the shitty job can be overcome. Do you have any positive references at your previous job? Use them. Everybody makes the mistake of going to a job that ends up not being the right one. Be selfish and use those wonderful people around you to help support you. I think the biggest problem is your father-in-law. Nobody has the right to treat you like shit. Period. Does your fiancé know what he said? If not, I think she needs to know. I know it’s her father…but you’re going to be her husband. Hang in there…the present may look shitty, but I don’t see all as being lost.