When is the time?

Hi Woody – I read your posts all the time. I think a lot of your thought goes into seeing yourself after your chosen method .. Like the thoughts of standing in front of a train and then getting hit or making that final leap off a cliff and waiting for the splat . I thought about these methods as well as hanging myself . The horror of it all in my mind is too much for me – THOUGH you wouldn’t give a shit as you would be dead right . My thoughts and my thoughts only woody are to get sober for about a week and clear your mind ..( yeah right I hear ya say ) .. – Then when you are sure it’s the right day or night you can get your shit together more clearly . Get drunk as you do your thing .. My experience was –The first Time I tried or was sure I was going to suicide I was drunk every day and then when I thought I’d had enough Swallowed about 5 Valium as well . I was a drunk crying mess , I even rang lifeline for help .(*****) . So after that I did what I said above .. No drama .. cool as a cucumber .. Went through the motions .wrote letters and a will of sorts , didn’t even cry a tear. Problem is that was before I met you all and started looking into how to do things right .. . Now I’m in limbo just like a lot of good people here . But I’m ready for when that feeling is too much to bare again … I’ll just go through the motions with a dull mind and hope for the best .. So Take what you like from my reply , Again this is has been my suicide experience so far to date .. It might give you something to ponder on if nothing else. Happy thoughts to ya Woody .. All the best …. MM