Antidepressants?

I was on several. . . Prozac, Welbutrin, Lexapro and at least one other. They ALL backfired and almost drove me off the deep end. I behaved in a manner I hope never to behave again. I didn’t realize they were making things worse, and that is an understatement. My opinion of them is not good. I believe the underlying causes of dep/anxiety can NOT be remedied with chemicals, because the underlying causes are cognitive, not physical. There is a mind-body connection that causes us to feel like shit when our minds are telling us we ARE shit. Antidepressants are a scam that make pharmaceutical companies billions, and they fix NOTHING. Chemical imbalances causing emotional distress my fucking ass. Pre recorded messages at a sub conscious level that tell us how worthless we are CANNOT be remedied by a concoction of POISONOUS substances shoved down our throats by a medical system earning billions dispensing them. I quit them against docs advice, and am able to think clearer, understand more about what I am dealing with and what causes it without all the sudden unexplained bouts of crying, freaking out, yelling, screaming, punching walls, sitting in a daze for whole days at a time unable to move, hurting animals, and best of all, no more money wasted on professional grade toxins prescribed by doctors. Look back at your posts, see how you (and for that matter myself and probably most of us) speak to and about yourself. We spend our lives treating ourselves like worthless pieces of shit, then expect a pill to make it better. Examine the way you think about yourself. When you are genuinely happy with yourself, physically you feel great. When that ends, and you begin telling yourself how terrible you are, you physically feel poor. Ain’t no goddamn pill that can fix that.

That’s a good point, I can’t deny that. Meds do help many, and if they do, then they are a godsend and are worth it. My experience was negative, as has been the case for many. I sort of envy those people who, like you, don’t have the self loathing issues to the extent I do, but I do believe, that so much of depression and anxiety has cognitive origins rather than physical. I didn’t mention that the first month I was on meds, I didn’t feel depressed, I just felt nothing, and believed the meds were working. The “nothing” soon became chaos, but that was my experience. Obviously, meds can alter physical sensation, thereby altering mood. I think that in many cases, they also can exacerbate a bad
situation. Changing meds at this point may help. I quit cold turkey as a survival technique after analyzing the downward spiral I was caught in and correlating it to the previous 3 years of taking antidepressants. Sure, life was difficult before I began taking them, but it became a freak show after I began. My doc, of course, advised me to “NEVER QUIT COLD TURKEY”, but I did, and in ten years without, I am much better off. Not cured or perfect, just better off. I was grasping at straws during those bad years, went to several doctors/shrinks etc., and would’ve drank fish blood if they said it would help. I was losing my mind and desperate for peace, but MY biology, for whatever reason, reacts poorly with these meds. My journey has taken a different turn, but that’s another discussion. I am happy for you and for all who ARE finding relief through medication. I shouldn’t have generalized ALL meds as toxic lizard pee, but I often get on my soap box and then can’t find my way off. As for people who have great lives but are still suicidal, my thinking is happiness, or at least contentment, begins when we find our direction, or place, in life. Perhaps suicidal people with “great lives ” don’t actually have lives that are all that great. We all hide pain, or at least dress it up, so as to not be interpreted negatively. The human condition is one of general discontent, but we are trained to conceal it and be brave. What better way to conceal pain than with a smile. I hope I am making sense!