everything is holy

we try to be holy and sweet and glorious at the same time
we kneel behind the bleachers like we do on sundays
we kiss boys with our red stained lips, eyes closed and dreaming of galaxies
we love in secret and confess sins together while grinning
we smile shyly at the boys in front of our parents, but the boys know our dirty secret
they are our dirty secret

we try to be celestial and ethereal, something from above
we hold onto our hearts with all of our life and existence
we grasp onto shirts and gasp into quiet rooms when no one is home
we hate like we love, quietly and in secret, in hidden alleyways and libraries
we make eye contact from opposite ends of the room and we both have a fiery look in our eyes
this is our dirty secret

we try to be demigods and teenagers and alive
we break our dreams and paint them over with whatever we have left
we cover up the dark purple spots among our necks and collarbones but leave the ones under our eyes to be seen
we keep loving one another behind doors and under covers, trying so hard not to scream out
we force ourselves to stop touching one another so often, it is too risky, we could get caught so easily
this is our dirty secret

we try to be ourselves and what our parents want us to be
we steal love from strangers and liquor from the cabinet, it’s no big deal if we do it every weekend
we hide away the cherry lipstick we use to mark the boys and girls and the clothes we wear to intrigue the strangers
we run away from our problems with hazy summer nights filled with smoking and deliciously sinful kisses
we stop making eye contact in the halls because we have memorized the eye colors of the boys; we know them from kneeling before them day after day, making them ask for God
they are our dirty secret

we try to be holy and sweet and glorious
we kneel under desks and behind doors and against walls
we kiss boys with closed eyes and bruising lips
we love privately, not by choice, but by force, by the need to survive
we smile longingly with desire and want and lust all wrapped up in one
they are our dirty secret and nothing is holy