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From time to time I still find myself overwhelmed and just wishing all was over. I fear this will never fully go away. It’s been building up for sometime now. Longer than normal, stronger than normal. Ever so slowly imploding. Back to drinking myself to sleep cause I really don’t know what else to do. Even that has it’s limitations. Work is what I use typically. Just focus on it day in day out. Let’s me simply ignore or avoid what I can’t handle or can’t control…….that’s becoming me now though.

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wanted85 2/12/2017 - 5:30 pm

I’m sorry. I know how your feeling I’ve felt this way for a while now. Hope you can find your way out of the overwhelmed feeling *hugs*

EvilOni22 2/13/2017 - 2:33 am

Thank you for your encouragement. I hate that someone else would be subjected to such, it’s also good to know I’m not alone though. One day at a time….. *hugs* back

allstarofsuicide 2/12/2017 - 5:41 pm

Don’t let a slight breeze push you off course, there is more strength in that.

Work can’t be all that is keeping you going. Latch on to something that won’t let you down. 🙁

EvilOni22 2/13/2017 - 2:54 am

I certainly try to stay on course, pressing against the relentless gales…..increasing until they sweep me up. Once I find traction again I refocus and continue……some winds are just stronger than others.

Work isn’t what keeps me going…..I don’t have an answer for that. That is very much a part of the problem. It’s one thing when you abandon your purpose…….cause that’s a choice you made for whatever reason, right? But think of it another way……like, what if purpose abandons you ? You need and even desperately want purpose back but you can’t see it, can’t feel it, can’t find it……just have nothing to center you…but you want it desperately..and processing that to solve the problem can be a bit much….so distraction is more or less the coping mechanism you default to. That’s work. Worry bout immediate tasks at hand ignore the rest until the rest hopefully finds you since you can’t find it. Distraction unfortunately isn’t full proof though. And really only helpful in short terms……hard to explain. Sorry if I’m just rambling.

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