It’s been a little while once again since I’ve visited…. since the end of december.
If anyone remembers my earlier posts, well I kinda just wanted to tell you a little bit of how things are going for me…
I am doing much better…my life has been turned around. I don’t feel the need or desire to pick up that knife anymore… I’m only 20 days clean of self-harm, but I don’t think I will need it anymore. I’m over halfway past the longest period of time without harming, and once I reach my longest time, every day after that, can be another day added to the streak.
My arm is scarred to hell, but it’s healed….and I guess it will remind me of how broken I was. I always thought I would be drowning, that I could not be saved or save myself, that I would be drowning forever in darkness….until one person’s radiant light pierced through my darkness, and made all the bad thoughts slowly fade away…she has pulled me out of the darkness where I constantly was, into the light…
I am doing better. I want to take care of myself. But I still don’t know how I feel about myself… you know? Do I hate myself? Do I hate myself less than before? I’m not sure…. I do know one thing though, that this person is special to me, and my life is hers.
Just thought I’d give a little update to the ones that care. I find myself continuing to come back eventually, reading things you guys write, and just checking things out…Take care of yourselves, and do go out of your way to give kind words to others on here if you think of something to reply, they mean more than you know.
As always, leave some comments if you wish, I’ll get back to ya when I can.
~Oathkeeper
2 comments
i’m just glad and relieved things turned around for you Oath, and glad it’s looking more positive
and i’ll keep wishing you well, and hope you stay at it and strong and will continue to overcome whatever lies ahead
because you can
1 day at a time, step by step, hang in there, *insert more positive poster/bumper stickers here*
happy trails, <3
Thanks Snorlax. How have you been holding up?