March 20th, 2017by snader
I love my parents to bits, but fucking hell, I hate them too (actually only my mother, my dad is the funniest and sweetest and most peace-keeping man ever). I’ve always had a really rocky relationship with my mother. She likes to force me to do shit she couldn’t do when she was younger. Like go on camps (when she knew I would bawl my eyes out every night bc I’ve always been a homesick little kid). Go to a youth movement (even though I hated the people there and had 1 friend). Study Latin in secondary school. Go to uni straight after graduating, not taking a gap year or some time off. She wouldn’t let me stay home from school when I literally wanted to kill myself every single fucking day being there. She didn’t believe me when I said I would seriously harm myself. She didn’t come looking for me when I ran away from home to go to the tracks where my brother killed himself, because I wanted to do it too. She doesn’t think making jokes about my appearance, way of eating, how much I eat or what I eat, should make me upset (even though she has been the closest witness of my 2 year anorexia battle, which nearly killed me). She likes to think that whenever she helps me with a paper, something as stupid as make a fucking table or chart bc I’m a tool when it comes to Excell and stuff, that it’s HER paper. She likes to pretend she’s in uni. She likes telling me what to do, but mainly what not to do. Don’t drink, don’t have sex, don’t EVER skip class, don’t neglect school work I REPEAT NEVER NEGLECT SCHOOL WORK YOU MUST BE ON TOP OF EVERYTHING AND ALWAYS HAVE HIGH GRADES BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT AFFORD TO FAIL BECAUSE “I just want you to do good, you know I mean well and you’re taking this so personal again and oh boy you’re a drama queen, you’re twisting my words.”
I am livid right now, obviously I just had another argument with her. SHE FOLLOWS MY EVERY MOVE like a fucking hawk, I swear I feel like I’m a slave or a prisoner. She loves me too much, I swear I swear I swear. FUCK.