I came upon this article and it just explained so much. I never had a word for it. I thought I was alone in this growing up, but reading the comments below the article, it appears so so so many women and girls were abused by their mothers in this way too. I’m glad I’m not alone, and that the feelings that I feel are not abnormal, and actually, quite common among those who’ve had to grow up this way.
At the same time, how can so many mothers be so cruel to their own flesh and blood? Why even have children then? I just don’t understand it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201310/mothers-who-are-jealous-their-daughters
The comments below the article are great btw. It captures what I went through and the feelings that I was not very able to vocalize well, but vocalized much better by other people in the comments section.
Anyone else here grow up with a narcissistic mother?
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At the same time, how can so many mothers be so cruel to their own flesh and blood? Why even have children then? I just don’t understand it.
I am glad you posed this very question. This is the first time I have seen it raised here so I am responding even though I am not a lady. I don’t understand it either. I am a male and the abuse was very different and very near devastating as well. We think of mothers as nurturing and when they are unspeakably cruel it just about breaks our souls.
The question I posed above yeah can be applied to both sons and daughters and both fathers and mothers, because there’s shitty fathers too, not just shitty mothers. It’s like why in the hell would you even have kids if you’re not going to treat them well. And if you’re not going to treat them well and you hate your kids, why not can give them up for adoption? But noooo, keep the kids and abuse them daily. As a kid, I wished so hard I had been adopted instead. Sure, as an adult, I know not every adoption is a happy story, but it sure as heck felt better than having your real parents hate you since birth for no good reason.
Having kids just to hate and abuse _ yes daily _ is beyond my imagination. But it is what I experienced, so yes true, a cruel parent, in this case a mother, can do all that terrible stuff daily. Meanwhile I internalized all this abuse. I am still contemplating ending it all. Just living just to relive it all is not my cup of tea. I am in therapy so I will see if enough damage can be neutralized for me stay around.
Me, and I hate her. She sees me like a literal doll.
Maybe she just wanted a living doll when he gave birth to me.
There’s a sub on Reddit for kids raised by narcissistic parents. If you need more support you may find it there.