I feel like happiness is like catching lightning in a bottle. I know how rare it is and how quickly it goes. You only get your happy endings if you die when you’re happy and I know my happiness is slipping. I want to die so badly. My heart is aching so much right now that it’s hard to type. I need to die before I lose all that is left. But I realised something tonight. That’s exactly what my partner did. She knew that it was over so she asked for one final phonecall and took pills while we were talking. She knew that we would never speak again after that call and so she took her life before she lost it all. She just wanted a happy ending. But I know the pain that causes and so I could never do that to anyone. I don’t deserve a happy ending and I won’t have a happy ending. I just need an ending
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I’m tempted to ask how she could do that to you, but I guess when you get to the point she was at, you just want it to be over and don’t think about anything else.
I’m sorry for your loss and I know that you’re probably having a pretty bad time right now.