I was doing okay…..I was getting better… I still had problems sure, I still had anxiety fits and minor thoughts of self harm, but I genuinely was happy and wanted to live, looked forward to each day and the next..I was 94 days clean of self harm…and it all came crashing down in a matter of days………. now I just want to die again… how could someone that loves you discard you so easily, and ignore you completely….won’t even talk about why…won’t tell me why she’s suddenly treating me like a piece of shit, when all I ever was, was great to her….she is making me feel so worthless about myself, like I never meant anything, seemingly going on about her life as if nothing had ever happened….this kills me so much…i am so fucking dead…..i thought life was actually going good…..I never really had a chance to talk, she wouldn’t listen..just ignores everything I say….. I just want to die…I can’t take this bullshit…….starting cutting again a week ago…i hate everything…this is far far worse than how I was before in all my other posts…….
The thing about “it gets better”, nobody fucking knows that, nobody gets to look at my troubles and tell me “it will get better”, that pisses me off…. who gives a fuck about the future when we are stuck in the present..if the present fucking drives me to kill myself, what good is a potential future? The thing about potential? It goes both ways. Things with potential CAN be good, but doesn’t mean they WILL be. Fuck this, fuck me, fuck everything, I don’t want to fucking live like this anymore…..
I’m back…
~Oathkeeper
1 comment
bro… fuk that *****. you really going to let a woman who don’t give a damn about you anymore be the death of you. shes just going to continue her life when your gone and eventually youll be nothing to her if that’s not already the case. look im not trying to put you down. but forget that **** bro. you could do better. if she don’t show you the most amazing love you could get. than there will always be one that will!! and a good chance youll find her because its actually much more than just one who will love you better. don’t let her get to you. just do you man. try to stay healthy and in good shape and youll probably find something that turns you on even more. you got this. forget that *****. sit back and ask yourself are you really going to let yourself die over a person who don’t care. helllll no. you got this my friend just keep busy