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Help, I’m Turning into a Cake!

by BlueDiamond

I have learned today that towards the end of July I will turn into a Christmas cake. I’m not a cake, I’m a diamond. LOL, not literally, so please don’t plan on eating me. It’s a metaphor that is used in Japan for women pass the age of 25 that are not married. They are referred to as leftovers, thus how people don’t really want eat a Christmas cake after the 25th. Funny, I thought the due date was when you hit 30. Oh well. Sad thing is I tried to pursue a career instead of chasing behind men, and that didn’t work out, so I have neither, not that I have any regrets about never truly having a relationship. I’m a big epic fail.

I just realized that society is like an abusive boyfriend. Think about it. They treat you like shit, make you feel worthless, then when you want to leave, they’re all like no no we’re pro-life. You know how you’re abusive boyfriend don’t want you to leave the relationship, even though you know it’s bad for you. Get it? Get it?

Anyway, if I did literally turn into a Christmas cake? What would you guys do to me?

P.S. This song makes me feel good.


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fally 6/10/2017 - 2:07 am

“the cake is a lie.”
ever played Portal?

BlueDiamond 6/10/2017 - 2:40 pm

Heard of it, but no. Could buy it for a cheap price now off of ebay.

Timel3ssDecay 6/10/2017 - 2:28 am

“Anyway, if I did literally turn into a Christmas cake? What would you guys do to me?”

not eat you

Night In Atlantis 6/10/2017 - 3:27 am

established traditions…thankfully there’s a progressive shift. Often when the pressure to conform (either expected or self imposed) ceases or is eased our focus shifts to our own contentment and we thrive. Live your own life, on your own schedule, that does not equate to failure. If anything, you’ve additional information through others’ experiences and can avoid their pitfalls.

muspelhem 6/10/2017 - 10:12 am

What an idiotic, arbitrary rule.

muspelhem 6/10/2017 - 10:13 am

P.S. You Japanese?

BlueDiamond 6/10/2017 - 2:41 pm

No, white as a ghost.

muspelhem 6/10/2017 - 3:16 pm


notwhitenorblack 6/10/2017 - 10:50 am

Always found this stupid. You’re definitely right with the abusive boyfriend analogy.
Hmm, what would I do? Hm, depends on the type of cake. Are you with chocolate? πŸ˜‰

BlueDiamond 6/10/2017 - 2:44 pm

No, I would probably turn in a vanilla cake with white frosting. Is this question asking what I’m thinking? No, I’m not, and my family wouldn’t approve and then it’ll be drama.

a1957 6/10/2017 - 3:10 pm

The second paragraph is an interesting insight to be sure.

BTW, I saw a brief Onion News Network video that, while intending to be humorous, seems to bring out a lot of very valid points in line with other posts you have made. So for whatever it is worth:


eternaldarkness 6/11/2017 - 12:54 am

If you’re not turning into an actual cake and we can’t eat you, then are you going to turn into a diamond? A blue diamond? Can we sell you at the auction house? lol

ChaosSorcerer666 6/12/2017 - 6:32 am

How did chasing the career not workout

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