A relationship… it is some mutual validation, approval, shared moping and groping. Like a business transaction.
Whats the big deal? She/he loves you? I doubt she/he is capable of even seeing you except through the lens of his/her needs and projected wishes.
I don’t see how relationships are any different from a business deal, however much they may be romanticized. Moreover, people are sustaining such fickle notions of relatedness (most of which is based on need fulfilling), it seems to me that they too are actually alone but they don’t know it yet. I think, even their ‘bonding/relationship’ is a farce. An illusion they wish to sustain so that as social animals they have safety in numbers. What they call a ‘failure to bond’, is in fact our recognition of the truth. That (most) bonding is a farce.
11 comments
You don’t really say what you mean when saying “X is a farce” other than trying to express your disdain towards X. What specifically is it (in your mind) that partners in a relationship believe in that is somehow delusional?
I don’t understand how you don’t understand, but okay.
Well, can you give me a proposition that you claim partners in a relationship believe in that is false/ delusional? I don’t know what else you could mean by “farce”.
I don’t… understand? What do you mean “X isn’t clarified”? X is the relationship. The whole thing.
Well described. Relationships always were business transactions, be it for humans and animals. Just like two birds ‘bond’ together to create a better or worse nest and have fledgelings, two humans create an economically stable house to bring up the young. After all, this is the goal of the human race – to spread and pass their gene pool.
Once I heard a song about a man who married a bottle of whisky. There’s some truth in this as well, seeing as a ‘loved one’ for a person can be the same as alcohol for an alcoholic or a drug for an addict – or at least ‘wake up’ the same parts of the brain. The love in the romantical sense doesn’t really exist. Chemistry, sex appeal, biological compatibility – maybe. Well, for romanticists maybe, definitely not for pragmatists like me.
You’ll know the difference if you go from having someone who’s around every day with whom you can talk about anything, joke, share your ideas, have debates, etc., to having no one with whom you can discuss all the little things (and more important issues). Plus, it’s more than just a platonic best friend, obviously.
So yeah, having it and then not having it… well, it leaves a void for sure, no matter how “independent” you believe you are. Casual friends and acquaintances won’t “replace” any “special someone” you lose.
If you’ve never had that, you probably don’t understand what it’s like.
Sad, but true.
“Relationships are very shallow at best. There is a lot of jealousy and egoism behind them. I used to attend in a lot of relationships, but it was mostly to have someone to get drunk or high with. When I turned my back on it, normal functional people turned out to have major mental issues.
I think a lot of people have friends, because that is what is expected from someone, hanging out, drinking beer, being the archetype of the homo-sapien race. I just like to think for myself, and not get involved in any drama or group mentality.”
“I would replace the word “relationships” with “love”. While that may seem like a hugely solipsistic thing to say, I truly believe that between people, love is just a distraction from the realization of identity and purpose that we all secretly prioritize. I’ve seen too many people miserably trapped in a marriage or relationship, longing for the independence they relinquished by saying those three stupid words.
Love, to me, is like pancakes. They’re delicious when you first dig into them, but before long, you’re sick of them.”
http://i.imgur.com/QRUSp9n.jpg
Well, you may think that, but my own perspective is different. Whatever floats your boat, eh?
Relationships are great. They are like being inside of a caring teddy bear. A teddy bear that is occasionally unwillingly strapped to a violent, noisy roller coaster. A roller coaster that breaks down for days to years, making you feel bored, thirsty, and sunburned the entire time. But, overall, relationships are great.
When you first meet someone, before you become consciously aware of them, you are yourself and then, you want them to like you so, you alter you behavior in subtle ways.
That’s why IMO, relationships are superficial. None of us want to be vulnerable; we don’t open up to others and fail to form deep connection.
Basically, I believe that if you can show all your flaws from the get go, the person who likes you pretty much always will.
So, what do you think, does that make any sense?