I had everything set up in my hotel room.
My final goodbyes were written on paper and everything…then I chickened out.
I was so determined to go through with it and had everything ready to go.
This has made me feel even worse!
Why does this keep happening to me? I’m so sure that I don’t want to be on this earth anymore.
I guess I’ll set my alarm for the morning and try again then.
8 comments
Me too. Got everything ready, tried to really psych myself up for it, then just can’t go through with it. I really want to, but my conscience won’t allow me. Or maybe I’m just afraid. Trapped living. Maybe tomorrow.
I’ve been so close to death in my previous attempts so you would think that this would be easier. I think it’s because I’m in an unfamiliar place…
Interesting about unfamiliar place. Could be a deciding factor. Comfort zone or out of the comfort zone.
I think I’m going to jump off cliff today or soon if that makes you feel better about going through with it. I was planning to be dead 5 years ago though. Nothing has changed or got better just nastier
I wish I had the impulsiveness to jump off a cliff or infront of a train. The way I want to go requires planning unfortunately. It’s funny because my last attempt was 2 months ago and the psych nurses asked me “are you happy it didn’t work?” I was like hell no…I would give anything to be dead. They just don’t get it.
No matter how much you want to die, or how much you wish to no longer exist in this world, our bodies all have a survival instinct programmed to keep us alive no matter what. It is a force in our body like a fail safe to keep us alive under any circumstance. I wish it didn’t exist, would be a lot easier to exit this pathetic excuse for a life but sadly it’s still there.
I never had that stupid instinct. My last attempts I never had it, I would just go for it which is what I thought would happen this time, but no. Maybe I didn’t drink enough beforehand!?
“I was so determined to go through with it and had everything ready to go.”
You can’t have been 100% determined, though?
“Why does this keep happening to me?”
What happened to you?