I have wanted out of this relationship for over a year, and it’s finally happened, so why am I so upset? I thought it’d pass after yesterday, when he officially stopped talking to me via not answering my text. Rightfully, too. I wasn’t a great girlfriend; we weren’t soul mates, and too much about him bothered me. But he was so in love with me, always there for me, and knew me better than anybody. He’d do anything for me. I can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake, that no one truly wants to handle someone as unstable and unpredictable as I am. We’ve made many many attempts to be only friends, because I still want him in my life; he was my best friend before dating. But it clearly doesn’t work like that. I just don’t understand how I can be so consistently unhappy with this relationship and then get so distraught now that it’s truly over. He should have left me a long time ago, I wasn’t always very nice to him. I wish I’d stop checking his social media, because I know he targets me.
“and karma said: you will fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you, for not loving someone who did”
“I almost wish we never met”
“wondering if they love you for you or if they love you for what you do for them… stop doing it & see if they stick around”
“exploitation can not be love”
“don’t hit me up when you finally realize that no one else cares about you like I do”
“I wish that I spent the last three years doing something other than wishing to be yours”
“one of the most toxic things I’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because I love them”
Those are just some of the reposts, then he posts the ambiguous shit that has me thinking he’s already talking to other people. And he knows what he’s doing. It’s fucked up because I’m the one who cheated on him 1.5 times (and he still got back together with me). Maybe it’s because to me, sex means nothing, but to him, he’s only slept with two people, each being long term girlfriends; he doesn’t have meaningless sex. I swear to fucking god my chest has been caving in more and more and more and my lungs are going to collapse and I will be no more.
4 comments
I know he’s butthurt, but he honestly doesn’t sound all that amazing. This post stuck out:
“don’t hit me up when you finally realize that no one else cares about you like I do”
So, after lamenting his unrequited love for you, he basically tells you that no one (except him) loves you. How nice…
No offence to him, but he doesn’t sound super mature.
It’s natural that you miss him. Love is chemical, you know?
You have developed an attachment to this person by being intimate with them. That will take a while to lift.
This also:
“and karma said: you will fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you, for not loving someone who did”
That is some superstitious sh*t, and I don’t blame him, I sometimes stoop to that too, but it’s pretty irrational. Does this mean the only two possibilities are two kinds of unrequited love? I somehow doubt it.
Ah it took me a while to answer sorry. You’re right he’s butthurt, though. This post has a lot of truth to it though, the whole unrequited love aspect, as well as the chemical aspect, being a scientist. Thank you for another viewpoint that is more than me feeling like shit about myself for this.
The relationship wasn’t that great, but he was still my best friend. I can’t help but wonder if I fucked up and he’s the only person that’s going to love me because I’m crazy and high maintenance.
Stay away from the social media. Distract yourself somehow. Remind yourself that this is what you wanted. Doubts will often creep in afterwards after decisions like this but remember why you wanted out. Life is short. Spend it how you choose.
I just don’t know if it’s the right thing. I’m also kind of evil like that and enjoy torturing myself, but I’m just truly concerned I’m going to be alone forever, as I said in my reply to the other comment just now, I don’t think anybody else is going to be able to deal with me.