People can be shitty but I look forward going to work. Keeps my mind off things. So these past 3 days off have been fucking horrible. After crying incesstantly the first day, I forced myself to spend time outside today. It helps, despite being anxious around so many people. Im ok at work but outside, I dont even want to look people in the eye. What the fuck happened to me? Im a wreck. But being cooped up with just my thoughts does me no good either.
I should probably talk to the people around me even though I hate feeling vulnerable. I love my coworkers; I cant imagine working somewhere else even if it would pay better. From the mechanics next door who always ask how im doing and offer me food, my shift mates that chat and keep me company, to the managers that are patient and understanding. Honestly, I feel blessed in that respect. Theyve kept me sane this year. Ive read about workplace horror stories and terrible environments. Love you guys. Especially you J. Thank you. Even if I do something stupid one day, feels like it could be anyday now with how my mental state has been recently, I want it recorded somewhere how much yall have meant to me. Sorry if I hurt you. Yall care about me in your own way, I hope I remember that whenever I lose hope of a better tomorrow.