Had my first tdcs today

  October 9th, 2017 by lostallhope001

Hi guys, not sure if everybody knows my story and who/how I am

I am a 23 year old female who was born and lives in Belgium. But my parents were born and raised in Morocco. I am a narcissist with social anxiety/socially awkward type of person. So I hate myself for being narcissistic and deep down I always felt it is not okay to be so celf centered. I hated my own behavior and I hated it even more that my bad behavior (using others etc) didn’t give me any feeling of remorse or guilt.

Past friday I had an intake for tdcs treatment with the psychiatrist. I convinced him that I was depressed for the last 8 months and have been on medication for the last three months.. I didn’t tell him the full truth. I did tell him I was depressed, but I didn’t tell him why. I was scared if I told him that I was depressed for being narcissistic then he wouldn’t agree on trying the Tdcs.

So today I had my first treatment. The electrodes were placed on my forehead and the stimulation took 20 minutes. I only experienced a bit of tingling/electricity on my skull, but it wasn’t discomforting.

After I left the hospital I didn’t notice anything changing and still felt like a narcissistic *****. But now there is something weird going on. Today I am sleeping over at my sisters house. I am with her in bed now and the kids are sleeping next to us in seperate beds. And all of the sudden i am very aware of their existence and their movements and sounds. Normally I am so self centered that i don’t even hear them or pay attention to them. Is this empathy?

Also my sister is sleeping next to me in bed and I just want to hug her real tight. Normally i hate hugs and i hate it when people touch my body. Is this love and empathy?

I am thinking of my mom that I left alone at home and I feel guilty about it and I miss her. Is this love and empathy?

Oh God I hope so!! I hope that tdcs provides empathy for narcissists. This would be so so so helpful for treatment of personality disorders!!!

My next appointment for tdcs is on thursday. I will keep you guys posted! (I you’re intersted ff course hihi). I am so so so happy! My suicide thoughts are even starting to fade away!

P.s. I think i might get the lump in my armpit checked. Kisses and hugs !!

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