Sometimes Dying on the Inside is Harder

October 28th, 2017by greyghoste

Do you know what it feels like to have the last person you would say goodbye to if you killed yourself tell you that you’re a terrible fucking person? I’ll tell you what it feels like. It feels like your chest caving in on itself, your throat being torn out by the vocal cords, and your heart being crushed under the weight of unspoken words. It feels like fresh makeup running in lines down your face and like each heartbeat is a damnation, an act of sin. It feels like dying in the worst possible way and makes the noose you tied from your bedsheets look like a joke. It makes you feel like yesterday was a mistake and that tomorrow will never be worth it. It makes you wonder who you have left in the world because deep down you know he’s right. It makes you want to die.

And he may hate me, but my last words are still going to be spent telling him how much I love him.

Processing your request, Please wait....